dumb...

Today is an alrite day onie lar...

I was reading Jess' blog and i was struck dumb...as in, i donno what to say....
Life is so unpredictable and there's so many things that could happen. I dread getting a call frm msia in case it delivers bad news...i'm scared someday my parents would leave me...i'm scared that my grandma will leave me...i'm scared that my siblings will leave me. I dowan that to happen at all!! but then again, death is an inevitable thing. I can't expect to not die rite? that's crazy...hehehe....but, i really scared la....i donno la...haih!!! Life is so fragile and yet we do not appreciate what we have. What kind of person are we huh??

the Lord gives and the Lord takes away...some might find that utterly nonsense....We have the right of being angry and wanting our loved ones with us...but den, look at Jonah...If he had the right to be angry, wouldn't God have more right to be angry?? The Lord was the one who created all of us. If we think we love our family, friends....what more God?! U think God don't love them?? haih....but our selfish eyes oni see what we want and not at long term....

On the not-so-positive side, i wonder why am i sometimes treated with invisibility. Am i invisible? I'm not rite? then, why treat me like that? i donno la...it's crazy...i'm in a crazy mood. on certain days, i dont care and couldn't even be bothered if i'm treated like as if i dont exist but when it comes to him, i want him to notice me...(not that i go out of my way to be noticed la...)but sometimes i question myself and ask why is it that i want ppl to notice me...why is it that i desire to be noticed...desire for the attention and even love...when God's grace and love is already sufficient?? goodness...i think it's a mood swing kinda thingy....at times i really feel like i don need guys....at times, i do....it's a complicated thing.....like ping suan alwiz say, can't live with them and can't live without them....hahaha...what an irony and crazee thingy....

anyway....i dowan to think edi la...coz i have summore exam coming along and i really shouldnt be thinking bout tis kinda thing...he will direct my attention to something else...stupid!!!

come on jeelee, focus on Christ!!! U know what u're suppose to be thinking and what u're not suppose to....focus focus......seish.....

i can't wait for exams to be over...den we're going to orchard!!! yay!!!!....so niceeeeee.....
can't wait can't wait!!! hahahah......
God bless ya all....