Strangeness...

A few nights ago I was just telling Geoffrey that if he knew what kind of person I was and am, he’d freak out. If the nus navigators knew the kind of person I was and am, they’d freak out. It’s not that I don’t let them into my life but hey, I’ve only been here for 2 years and 3 months. And out of that duration, I spend about 3 months a year in KL. So I spend maybe about 21 months in Singapore. How much can they get to know me in 21 months? Of course those who spend more time with me know me more those less, know me less. Logic. But, even then, there are things that I don’t tell them. Like it or not, our past shapes who we are right now. There are some things in the past that are pretty much connected to who I am right now and these things people here don’t know. Not because I don’t want to tell them but I guess, Singapore is a fast pace country and they only move forward. No backwards. And if I move backwards, I’m strange. I already am.

I guess, to a large extent, although I blog quite openly and I’m rather open to people in my friendships, I am still rather close. Many of my friends don’t know what makes me crazy. They don’t know my hobbies. Many people don’t know a lot of things. And I guess, I’ve not met someone interested enough in me to want to know. Hah. Maybe that’s what I really want to rant about today. But, nah.

Am I a natural fight-starter? Today, just today, 2 persons have said something to me that make me feel as if I said something wrong and they had to put me down. Did I? If I were the fightsty woman I used to be, the stubborn, i-don’t-care-what-kind-of-person-you-are-and-i-still-want-to-shoot-you-down kinda woman, I’d probably have used words to slap them back. But, I just kept quiet. I’ve learnt my lesson. God teaches well. Keep quiet. There’s no use to fight back especially when it’s not something very important, even though both issues were something very close to me and I know I’d most of the time give up some verbal fight first. I’m the I’ll-show-it-to-you kind, especially when you try to prove me wrong, Especially when I know I am right. But, I’m learning. I’m learning.

Don't hate me. I'm learning.