The Inner me: We need reminders from time to time

On Thursday, Edgar reminded me about being humble before God.
On Friday, Ade reminded me about surviving on God’s sufficient grace.

I really needed to be reminded of these things. Thank God for brothers and sisters who are there to just nudge me on bit by bit.

I am a very unique species. I can be very proud of who I am, yet at the same time suffer from low-self esteem. And there’s one part of me that I have always been very happy of. But it got blown away pretty hard on Thursday. You see, I’ve always known that whatever good there is in me is not from me but from God. I’ve always known that. But, I’ve never really asked God how to use this gift. Well yea, I asked Him for help when I struggle to smile and lighten atmosphere, ease things up, laugh and joke about things. At when I meet someone in need for an encouraging word, by God’s grace, am able to meet that need. Of course, again I say, it’s not I but God working. However, strange as it may be, I seem to have gotten more proud about the way God has worked in me, the gifts he has given me, the abilities in me. And this really shouldn’t happen. And realising that I suck really points me back to know that there’s nothing good in me that God should look upon me and say “I could use her”, makes me bow my knees in humility knowing that God chose to exercise His love, grace, mercy, power through me. And that whatever good is in me, is really not because I worked for it or that I deserved it but it is God’s gift and in my exercise of these gifts, I better be careful to use them for the glory of God. Thank God we have the Holy Spirit to guide us, not forgetting brothers and sisters who’d teach us too.

And Ade’s note to me was complementary too. It taught me to see that the gifts that God gave to me were really His grace poured out on me. And I do not need to survive on my own strength. I do not need to struggle through life experiences with my own abilities because God’s grace is there for me to cling upon.

And then, there’s the whole question about how I am serving God with my studies. And I’m glad that Isaiah 40 answered that for me. A question I had all throughout Friday and on Saturday, as I did my QT, it became pretty clear to me. Thank God for that.

Isaiah 40: 6 – 8

The voice said “Cry out!”
And he said, “What shall I cry?”
“All flesh is grass, and all its loveliness is like the flowers of the field. The grass withers, the flowers fades, because the breath of the Lord blows upon it; surely the people are grass. The grass withers, the flower fades, but the Word of our God stands forever.”

So, the question, “How do I serve god with my studies?” And the answer is above. I cry out – cry out the word of God. Because that is what that stands for eternity. Personal revelation. Woah. Exciting.

And today in church, we were talking about evangelism, and as we were talking about it, I was challenged by some of the leaders in my group and how they really just have a heart to reach out to those in their community. Uncle Eric and Uncle Andrew were such great encouragements. Morris was extraordinary in having such great big ambitions too. And I tried to see where I fitted and how I’ve grown in this area. And only God could have brought about the change in my attitude towards evangelism. From passive participations to a more active participation. I pray for even more active participation. And to know and feel God’s heart for people.

I’ve said much. Bottom line is that God is very good and I pray for Him to continue to work in me that I may exemplify Jesus in my behaviour and be the very woman God so desires.

xxx

And here are some pictures from the weekend.

David and Radika came over to the Lee Villa (where I stay) and we had a good time just cooking and eating. I think Radika and David had a pretty good time on the guitar and the piano respectively. :) I had a good time just cooking. Cooking makes me happy but the best is that they were there to help buy the ingredients and cook together. And then, eating the fruits of our labour. haha. Satisfying. Although, extremely disappointed that the Ikan Assam Pedas was neither Assam or Pedas. (At least not pedas enough for me la). But, the others were good. And it was the company that always makes it best. :)