Amazing....

Last night during BS, i was feeling really lousy! Not because i didn't like what was being discussed but because i suddenly felt like i'm such a horrible Christian! I mean, there was just so many things about me that i know God will not be happy with...many things that i feel i need to improve on....

I keep telling myself, God above everything!!! God first! I must love HIm with all that i am!! And then, last night i just suddenly feel that i have not been putting HIM first...i haven't been loving HIm...i've been a hypocrite!! I've been a liar!! I only know how to talk nonsense and not keep to my words!! I was so irritated lor.....

I've not been dependent on HIm....not humble!! so many things....not faithful....AIHH!!! And i came back and i told God this : why is it that i haven't been crying for such a long time? have i no more love for HIM? have i no more feelings?

but, today.....feeling a bit lousy...tired and all that...furthermore, a bit sick liao....but, i thank GOD! because when i came back from a long day of lectures and tutorials, i came back to check my mails...and then rest...but, when i checked my mails....i read a mail frm gloria! she mentioned about the China students....and i was just moved to tears!! For what i was reading wasn't something really really vy sad...but i was just moved to tears....i cried...it was something to do with God of course!! and in a way, i was thankful because i think God's trying to assure me that i still care for HIS kingdom!! and i not only care, i also love HIM!! Although sometimes i think i don't, but i think the LORD is trying to assure me that i actually do!!

i can't help by cry longer to see how great the LORD is...how HE encourages me when i need it! Who can explain things that happen sometimes? it's supernatural power? i say it's just GOD!!! that's the supernatural power that ppl call.....but dislike to acknowledge God's work!! yeah lor.... and how much HE loves me!! it's a great relationship that i have with HIM...and will not give up the relationship for anything!!!

Like one songs says :
i've set my eyes on Jesus Christ and
i will run at any price.
I'll have no fear.
I'll keep the faith!!!

yah man!!!

Praise the LORD!!!!

:)