Just another dae?

Well well....today is an interesting day. A meaningful day i must say. And i must blog this down altho it's actuall already 3am in the morning. But, i'm changing the date of the entry because i want the date to show the exact day that it happened.

Well, like any ordinary fridays, we the navigators will have a session of rally. We (the mon BS grp) were not suppose to be incharged this time round because we're only suppose to be in-charged of celebration rallies and for this day, it's not a celebration rally. Instead, its a teaching rally. So, Noel was MC. HuiLi led worship...and i guess, it was great because Bernard was sharing about the resurrection of Jesus and how it implies to each and everyone of us. Bernard shared on a level that was a bit different and of course more in-depth. Well, he shared some very good points and that i will not share now...unless i decide to edit my post another time.

The highlight was this: Bernard actually asked us, who amongst us wants to be prayed for... and as much as i am not spiritually struggling over anything, i felt that theres this just 1 sin!! 1 part of my life that i needed to commit to GOd. Well, i've asked for forgiveness and repentence definitely but i somehow still felt that that sin still made me feel ashamed and was something that the devil will use against me in my walk with HIM and when i try to reach out to ppl. And so, i felt that it was something that i need to deal with and i want to surrender it to the LORD.
So, i stood up....then as i was praying....Lilian and Joyce came over....and i was thinking, "oh no, what am i gonna tell them?"....so, Lilian opened by asking me is there anything i want to confess and is there anything i want to repent of and tell God?....i felt the LORD's hands in it...He's telling me : Hide no longer, JeeLee. Don't run away from it anymore. Face up to it. Surrender it into My hands and i will give u the peace that you need. And, as Lilian looked at me, i was standing there, meak and small, vulnerable and scared....But i know that it is something that the LORD wants me to do....how can i serve HIM if i still have such sin as strongholds in my life and holding me back from blooming to the fullest and serving HIM...so, i took the courage to confess it to Lilian and Joyce. Bear this in mind please, i have told NO ONE of my this particular sin!!! NO ONE!!!! not my parents...not my siblings...not even my best friend or the close ones to me. So, it really took A LOT of courage to tell Lilian and Joyce about it. And as we prayed, i cried and cried and cried....i know the LORD loves me, i know it with all my heart, soul and might. And i know that the work of Jesus on the cross has cleansed me of all my sins - no matter how bad they were, the past sins, the present sins, the future sins....I know i am purified in HIM and that i am pure in HIS sight. As i was praying together with Lilian and Joyce and as i was praying by myself as well, i hear the LORD say 2 things to me : (1) The Lord has allowed me to sin and walk through that part of life in order that i may use them to reach out to ppl and bring Glory and Honour to HIS name!!! and for the extension of HIS kingdom... (2) i am pure. Without blemish because of the work that Jesus has done for me on the cross. It's a fact that it's not easy to accept...but now i know and i believe it with all my heart, soul and might!!!

the song that came to mind:
Give us clean hands,
Give us pure hearts,
Let us not lift our souls to another.

O God let us be,
A generation that seek,
That seeks YOUR face o God of Jacob.

yah...truely the LORD has given me a clean pair of hands and a pure heart.

Liren earlier on spilt some cordial onto the floor of YIH....and so, i was mopping the floor and then Noel wouldn't let me...then he was lucky coz he manage to get James to fight with me..hahah...2 fellas against 1 girl...of course they win la....aiyo...and what were we fighting for? for the stupid mop...hahaha...i insist on me mopping the floor because it's a girl's job!! Yeah, call me old-fashioned if u want....too bad yah!! and i still can't understand why they insisted on them doing it. It's not like as if mopping is such a hard work...anyway, yeah...den Joyce was there and she said this : "Aiyah, let them do it for u yah. Sometimes, u gotta let ppl show u love as well." wow...of course it was because she prayed for me and therefore she knows i have a problem with allowing ppl to love me...haha...but i never really saw it as that....

I'm not saying that now i no need to do anything liao...or just sit back and relax and make men my subordinates...hahaha....of course not!!!! I dare not!!! But, a personal lesson for me to allow others to show love and not be too driven about task...and task..and task...

Thank You LORD for loving me and for assuring me of my identity in YOU....and for giving me clean and pure heart...and for ur work on the cross for me!!!