Studeeing

Well,

We started studying together as a bs grp. But, since not many ppl came, we included non-monday bs grp members as well...haha...now it's a All are welcome thingy....It's been great except that Edgar should encourage studying and not talking. Eh, we're all behind time edi lor...hahaha....but, yeah la...edgar, gotta learn to be sensitive to others and also learn to do things productively lor. We want to bond together as we study together and also to show that we're not in this alone...we bear each others burden yeah...Not impose more burden on them. Haha....k..U shut me up and i'll shut u up as well...heheh

hmm.....I went over to Jul's house to stay over for SPP (Slumber Party Prayer). Well, last nite i was a bit discouraged over him. U know who la (well, u'll know if u've been consistently reading my blog)...anyway, yeah....i somehow feel tat he's avoiding me. Sensitive-nya...i know i know!! But, i just can't help but feeling that he's avoiding me!! So, i was a bit discouraged. Plus i was also a bit discouraged because i didn't finish what i wanted to do. So...we prayed and i just dedicated the whole issue into God's hands....

And today, we spoke about discouragement....Well, it was certainly great to see so many ppl come for SPP....ok..back to topic...yeah, i realised that mainly most of the time when i'm discouraged its because i dont rely on God's strength but instead try to rely on my own strength and be superwoman. I know i have the capability to be one. My mom is one. She's a superwoman and i know that i can be one as well. So, it's easy for me to slip into the state of independence from God - even without realising and knowing it.

My last post was about how i feel so stressed up and how i'm not relying on God's strength. I didn't realise i was doing it until BSF reminded me of how i am relying on my own strength instead of God's!! And, really, it's so easy to fall away and be independent of God without realising but of course life is not easy when u're independent of God. Try doing it for a week and you'll realise how miserable you have become - miserable and also bitter. Aih...it's not easy man.

After realising that, i know i really need to surrender my life back again to HIm....The 2 questions HE brought to mind was this : (1) Have i forgotten to give HIM my 100%? (2) Have i forgotten how i used to be so enthusiastic about glorifying HIM? And Yes, sadly...i have forgotten these things that i held so closely to my heart. It has not been long forgotten, it has only been a few weeks...but, its good enuff to gimme a slap on the face!
And another realisation is this : I want to give HIM my 100% and glorify HIS name...but i CERTAINLY can't do that with my own strength.

Zech 4:6 - Not by might nor by power, but by the spirit of God!! - That's our source of strength!!

I rededicated my life back to HIM...to focus on HIM...asked for forgiveness....to do ALL things dependent FULLY on HIM....Give HIM my best!!! He deserves nothing less....and yet, we do all things through CHRIST...dependent on HIM!!!!