Loving people....

I was asleep when Karen called. Yes, it wasn't very late at night - it was only 9:30pm. My eye-lids were very heavy and my eyes ached. My nose ached from sniffing too much. It was funny and weird but when I tried to blew my nose hard just now, before going to bed, I felt a sharp pain in my right eye. *ouch* Maybe I should be concern about it? Maybe not.

Since I talked to Karen, I didn't feel like sleeping already. Got up and had a piece of bread and milk. And decided to blog.

Whenever I think about it, I don't know how to feel anymore. I used to be considerably close to this friend. Things suddenly took a 180 degree turn. We are no longer close to one another. The person who used to be my closest friend in Singapore now ends up being just a mere friend. Our conversations are mere "Hie" and "Bye"; "How are you?" and "Fine thank you." No more. Suprisingly, it doesn't hurt me anymore to see the relationship ended up like this. Although, I honestly hope that this doesn't happen to anymore other friendships.

This friend of mine has changed - in my opinion. He shows less love to people now. He doesn't bother much about others and how others feel. He doesn't have time to invest more into other ppl's lives anymore - esp those who whom he can't help. He invests only in lives of whom he can be of help to. He doesn't want to love those whom he finds unloveable or hard to love.

Sigh........

It is difficult to show love to those whom we find unloveable but if we only love those who are easy to love, then what different kind of love are we trying to preach? No difference from the world's meaning of love right?

To be fair, I guess, it's also difficult to invest in other ppl's lives or to show you care when you're attached. But, I don't see why many people can invest in other ppl's lives without it being detrimental to their love life but u can't do the same to yours. Don't because you have your special half, you neglect your friends. Well, to a large extend, I don't like being around when the love birds are together. Other people, I still can stand. But not you both. You make me wanna run far away from the two of you. I don't think there's anything wrong with being loving. But, being loving to each other oso must have your own space. Make people feel uncomfortable? At any moment when I see the two of you together, I'd run. I rather be alone. I rather do the thing I dislike the most - eating alone than to be with you both.

Sigh.....

I've given up on our friendship. I'm not even thinking of getting close to you any longer. You have given me signs that our friendship doesn't matter much to you. You no longer bother about me. I used to be darn hurt about it. But, I'm accepting it. And I'm playing the game according to your rule. I'm fine. :) I really am. :)

I just hope that you don't stop loving others. Don't stop loving others because there's someone who's sucking all the love from you. If I know the source of your love, you should never run out of love, you should never be tired of loving people. So, that's my prayer.