A wee bit heavy-eyed.

The time has come for me to journal here. I’m exhausted. Really! Ask me if I’ve had my recuperating sleep from Dayang, I think I have but ask me if I’ve rested enough, I don’t think so. Well, it could be that I’m just a person who WANTS to sleep more. Hah!

Anyhow, after Dayang, I was busy with Exco meetings, clearing the house and reading stuffs. I’ve finally finished my Da Vinci Code readings. Hooray!! I need to get my reading plans out soon though. I know I have quite a number of readings to do, plus today I’ve just approached Edgar to pass me notes and presumably “readings” for evangelism to specific groups of people. Looks like I’ll have quite a bit of reading to do. I am praying hard that I’ll have time to finish all the readings I want to – I don’t even have time for story books la. Ish!

I just returned from Ex-co retreat and also from Michelle’s 21^st birthday party! J Ex-co retreat was a great time of just again seeing how magnificent God works and also the time of evaluation was super encouraging to me. But, it was tiring. Somehow, I haven’t been able to sleep for the past few days. I need to know why. I think I know one reason but there might be a possibility of another reason (and that is something I need to find out). Michelle’s birthday party was quite funny. Well, she’s so wacky – I don’t think her birthday party would be any less wacky than she is. Although I know she was quite disappointed with the turn out and all that. I truly hope that it didn’t spoil her day any more.

Ya. I started out wanting to jot down my thoughts but eventually as I write, I began to feel shy or the inappropriateness of jotting it all down here. So, I shall hold back. Sometimes, I really wish I need not share openly with anyone. Sometimes, I wish I could just sit in my comfort zone and no one would expect me to get out of it. Sometimes I wish change would never come. Sometimes, I really wish I could hold back everything. But, the importance of fellowship comes to mind – and not just meeting people and eating but of opening our lives and sharing our lives, being vulnerable to one another, even if it means with people whom I’m not comfortable with all the time. Well, to be honest, I’m most comfortable sharing with a particular person ALL THE TIME would be GOD. Other than that, there are times when I would really not be in the mood to share but I have to. Hah! Felicia today said that I was the person in the entire ex-co who really pushed for bonding. I see the importance and I want to bond too but I really find it a struggle sometimes to do it myself. It’s so much easier to just sit on my own chair and do my own stuff. But but but….my life is not my own.

Okay. I shall read some emails and get some other stuffs done and then go and sleep. Tomorrow morning have to get up pretty early to do some stuff. I think I’d have a full day tomorrow too.