Confused

You know how it feels when u don't exactly know how u feel.
You know how it feels when you don't know what exactly is God saying.
You know how it feels when you are so desperate for an answer.
You know how it all feels don't you?

And you know too that all this confusion affects the relationship you have with other people.
And you know that I don't want this to happen.
And yet, when I know that it has affected the relationship, I am as hurt as you are, or even more. Because you know that I never want it to affect the relationship.
I wish we can talk about it but we're not up to it yet.
I think we're confused.
I think it's difficult.
I won't do anything until you do something. (Unless, God is telling me to do something!)

It's so weird....

On a happier note, it's nice to be back in KL. Maybe it's also because i'm away from you. Away from confusion. haha...Not exactly but nvm. Maybe I should delete u from my MSN. But, my heart can't bear to do it. I'm just so confused.

The presence of family is alwiz very comforting.

And to see friends getting all excited for me is very funny coz I am not even excited.
I just want it to be another day. Nothing special about it. But I really appreciate it! REALLY. But, wengyan, i want to see u!!! Aihh......so sad....
Anyway, i'll probably be helping my mom cook tmr in church for Alpha. Hehehe....and nope, if anyone of u are thinking we're gonna do it in church, NO WAY! Hehe......Since mommy and daddy will be busy in church for Alpha, i will be free.....haha...*hint hint*
Don't ask me why i am not doing anything, u know how much i hate attention.
And, please don't get me anything! REally....at tis age, (OLD!!) All i really want is to know that I have ppl in my life who cares! And at tis point, i know i do! And for that, i thank God!! So, please dont bother.....I'm really really serious!!! REALLY!!

Anyway, I've deviated a lot.

I'm still confused.
I'm still aching inside.
I'm still waiting for an answer.
I'm still waiting for a msg on msn frm u.
I'm still seeking....

At the end of it,
I'm not worried.
I've got God.
He'll answer my questions...
He cares...
He loves me...

I'm fine.