Going crazeee

It's 3am and here I am blogging. I came home at 10pm. Had some time of sharing with Gloria as we were suppose to be praying with one another. Half way through our sharing, Jing and Julia enters the kitchen. Then, I had sharing with Julia. We ended at 12 midnite. I came out to grab my books to start my revision. Close to 1am, me and Hui Yue starts talking. She was sharing.....

Aih.....

Ex-co!!! I have failed!! Ok, I used to think I've failed tremendously because I have not been able to help the Exco to bond. It is under my portfolio. I have not done anything to foster that. Aih!! I would reason out "Difficult lar...all guys leh. Oni me and Feli are girls." I don't know how to go about doing it. It's not that I don't feel guilty anymore. I still do at times. I know that everytime someone complains about how the exco is doing, the first thought that comes to mind is "Sorry! It's my fault! It's my mistake! I have failed!" Aih.... But the thing that burdens me more is this: If the President and the Vice-President are not in talking terms, how can I expect the rest of the exco to bond? It's ridiculous. And, things are not getting anywhere better. I have failed!!! I have been putting my disappointments, hurts, feelings, thoughts above my responsibility, my calling....I have failed!!!

God, please forgive me!!! Please help me!!

Was suppose to go out for dinner with Samuel tmr nite. But, he might not be able to make it. So sad!! :(

I can't blog properly now that my mind is all on about how I have failed. Aih....

My mommy burned her hand today. Someone poured boiling oil onto her hand!!! Poor Mommy!!! This is only the first day of VBS lor....how is my mommy gonna cook for the next 2 days?? Oh man....Lord, please heal mommy's hand!! The entire family is busy with VBS. I called home just now and spoke to Jee Leng. She sounds super duper tired.

I am hungry now. I wish my mommy is here to cook for me. Hehehe.....or my sister or brother. I always bully them to cook supper for me. Muahahaha......I'm an evil child!

Still, I have failed...Lord, may You please forgive me and help me.....ARRRGGGhhh

SORRY Lord.....

Sometimes God asks me to do something so difficult that I tell God "Can You please don't ask me to do something like that can anot? So painful. So difficult. Do it my way, can?" I can't believe how disobedient I am! How rebellious I am!! Aih.......God, Save me!!! I don't want to go where You won't be.