The Beautiful Letdown - Switchfoot

I've been procrastinating about meeting God about an issue that has been troubling me. The bad thing about me is that I lie to myself in order to justify the things that I do. If I am running away from the problem, I lie to myself and say that there is no such problem. But deep down, I know there is such problem. I'm quite silly and I make obtuse decisions. I have been able to talk to God about everything under the sun except this one issue. Aih, it troubles me. It troubles me because the fact that this is happening shows how serious this issue is and how much it matters to my heart. But, my unwillingness to face it just hinders me from breaking out victoriously of this issue.
Sigh....

But, I thank God for the gracious way of showing me that I need to turn back to HIM and I need to get back right with HIM concerning this issue. I need to seek HIM. I cannot be doing this. I guess, being rebuked is not always the best thing to hear but it's really God's grace that i'm experiencing. If God never showed me, I'd be struggling with this for a long, long time. Which sucks!

God is good!!!

God is gracious.....

Somehow, this song reflects a little of how I feel.....FYI, Switchfoot is a christian band...
................................................................................................................................................

It was a beautiful let down
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful let down
The day I knew
That all the riches this world had to offer me
Would never do

In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt
I was trying so hard to fit in, fit in,
Until I found out
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong
But I don't belong

It was a beautiful let down
When you found me here
Yeah for once in a rare blue moon I see everything clear
I'll be a beautiful let down
That's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for free
We're still chasin our tails and the rising sun
And our dark water planet's
Still spinning in a race
Where no one wins and no one's one

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I'm gonna set sight and set sail for the kingdom come
I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong
But i don't belong
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Kingdom come
Your kingdom come

Won't you let me down yeah
Let my foolish pride
Forever let me down

Easy living, not much like your name
Easy dying, you look just about the same
Won't you please take me off your list
Easy living please come on and let me down

We are a beautiful let down,
Painfully uncool,
The church of the dropouts
The losers, the sinners, the failures and the fools
Oh what a beautiful let down
Are we salt in the wound
Let us sing one true tune

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Feels like I don't belong here
Let me down
Let me down
Feels like I'm let down
Let me down.
Cuz I don't belong here
Please
Won't you let me down?


....................................................................................................................................................

Goodnight.