Preference
I realise recently that people prefer the noisy side of me. When I'm quiet, I get remarks like "eh, are you okay ar?", "Is something bothering you?", or better still "Why suddenly act demure?" or "why so sad today?" When I'm quiet, it doesn't necessarily mean there is something wrong with me okay! Or that I am "acting demure".
It's so sad you know. That I can't be quiet because all people prefer of me is the noisy side. It's not that I want to please people. But, i can't stand being asked these questions. I rather people accept that I am both noisy and quiet - both included in me! But, to be nice, I shouldn't blame people for asking or making such comments la. It's not their fault for not knowing me better. Maybe people ask such questions because they care.
Sometimes, I just want to hide.
I've been so tired recently. I tell people I don't understand why but I think I do. My mind has no time to rest. It is working even when I'm sleeping! That's why i get up feeling as if i just went to bed. It sucks.
I want a short trip to somewhere. Maybe I'll do something this weekend. Have to start planning. Short short trip. But, where?
What do you do when you feel lonely?
Labels: Randomness
posted by -- J e e L e e -- @ 11:59 pm
5 Comments
5 Comments:
You ARE demure!! Just like me! :) Go to malacca, eating is a good remedy for all sorrows.
C, I am demure? That is so hard to believe. haha.
Sigh, MALACCA reading Mun Onn's blog makes me want to go there too. Too bad I can't! :(
well.. i meant that semi-sarcastically. Girls = demure, is such a lie & dont let ppl make u believe that.
I've struggled for a long time (and maybe am still struggling abit?) with what other ppl think but that only makes us smaller than what God made us to be! So what if we arent what other ppl expect?? I expect ppl to be smarter than they are too, but cant blame them for being stupid, now can i?? ;)
and hey.. u're closer to malacca then me.. i can only dream... sigh..
I'm not really struggling with living up to other ppl's expectations of me. I was thought it a little strange that ppl can't accept the combination of a noisy and quiet jeelee. I guess, itself is an oxymoron. But oh well, life is not static and people change. we have to just accept it and move on...hehe
and it's worse knowing i'm nearer to malacca than you but still can't go. haha..
i dont think it's bcos ppl prefer your noisy side dear. it's really more of how they are used to the noisy jee lee. like for me, i can be noisy. rather noisy in fact. but not as noisy as you. heh. when i am down, tired, i would choose to downplay myself.
but of course, that's not always the case, rite. cos there are times that im really ok, but i just dont feel like being hyper. but when that happens, ppl will think that there's something wrong with me. but it's not bcos they want me to be happy for their sake, but also bcos they are concerned for me.
it's a gift to be able to bring joy, fun and laughther to the ppl around us by being noisy. cos noisy ppl are usually the happiest ppl around. i love being around happy ppl when i myself need some boosting. so i guess, perhaps, you've some friends who are down themselves and need that jumpstart from you to feel some joy?
but dont stress lah. just be yourself. God loves you jig:)
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