Pleasant surprises!

During last night's rally, I looked at Roy and I kept thinking to myself, "If he was my age, i'd marry him." There's really something attractive about Roy and I can't really pin point what it is - until last night! When I went to bed and I was talking to Jiaying, my roommate!, I was trying to tell her what exactly I like about Roy - the one thing that makes him so special and unique, the one thing that really stands out, I manage to put it into words. Two things: humility and meakness. The two very thing that attracted me. I always tell people that I like noisy guys coz they make me less noisy or rather, they make me seem less noisy. haha. But, I realise I have a very soft spot for quiet guys. Not that noisy guys are terrible or that quiet guys are very nice. It's just unique. But the thing about Roy, apart from his humility and meakness, is also his sincerity. I have never met another man (other than my dad) who spoke to me with such sincerity, so interested in my life, so humble because he didn't come to me as if he's the teacher wanting to impart some great knowledge to me - even though he's in the Singapore Nav leadership, and the way he talks about his wife - oh my goodness! never have i heard anyone spoken like that about his wife. I mean, yeah, they all say nice things about their wives, but Roy is different!

And then today, i thought to myself: I have no time to have lunch coz i should go to as5 and prepare for the presentation. But, as I got out of the tutorial, Gary said "Do you want to hear me sing a song I composed?" Yes, I do. And so we just ended up walking towards YIH for lunch. He taught us the song and interestingly, the first line of the song has both the words that describe Roy: Humble & Meak! Oh gosh.

Of course, then, there's always that extra bonus of meeting the good-looking guy who is oh-so-hot. And today, fate brought us together. I saw him 3 times today!!! All unexpected! Woah. God, can this be the one?! Okay, i'm being funny here. He's got this arrogance air in him, even though I don't think he is. Well, I can't expect everyone to be like me. I'm just a weird species.

Let me tell you wat happened.

Ade and I were walking up the stairs, after class, when we bumped into him. So, I gave ade the "that's him!!!" look and well, she apologised for almost bumping into him. He on the other hand, gave no reaction whatsoever. it's like as if he didnt see her, he didnt notice us, he didnt hear the sorry. Well, fine if he really didn't hear the sorry. but, hey, i'm sure he can offer a smile at least rite? NOPE! nothing at all.

So, i made a comment: He's so dao (arrogant) la! And then, i went on to explain why. Apparently, ade don't think so. Not everyone smiles at everyone else. i'm just weird. Maybe that's why i've been given a new nickname: windscreen wiper - for waving at ppl when i see them! Sigh.

Still, a plesant surprise nonetheless - seeing oh-so-hot good looking guys! haha

What a turn of events. Yesterday was probably my bluest of all days! It was like as if the whole world had its back on me. People said the wrong thing. People did the wrong thing. Bad things happened. I cried.

God is good still!!!! very good!

Complain la....

I love language and the Internet but I hate my project. It is a torture.

I sat down here in the library at 11am and it's now 9pm. I thought i'd start writing my essay today since i've been giving it some thoughts already. Suddenly today, I decide to change my focus, change dataset, change focus group. Now that sucks. And I thought it'll be easier to stick with 50k words. It's much tougher. So, from time to time I compare 50k with another 50k (I'm talking about dataset). So, i've sat here in the library for about 8 hours ( minus the meal times), and all i manage to squeeze out is about nine hundred to a thousand words for my essay. Now this sucks because the essay is suppose to be something between 2k-3k words. I'm only listing down the data and the analysis. I havent even gone to the discussion. I don't know if i can hit 2.5k words. I don't know if i'll be satisfied with my work. It's 20%. This sucks la. My brain is freezing. It is due on Monday.

I have a tummy ache and it makes me think "Oh, maybe i have stomach cancer" or something. haha.

My arm aches because it has been in a typing position ever since this morning.

God, help!!

I haven't prepared for cell tmr. Die!

Seldom do I blog to complain about my school work while i'm in the midst of it. But, tak boleh tahan dah la!

Okay. back to work. Need to go back to prepare for cell tomorrow oso.

bleah

I came across a really interesting quote while trying to chill today. It's from this book that I bought for RM3! It's entitled "The Love Affair" - so me rite? haha. Actually, no. I'm not a romance novel book lover. But the smaller print of this book cover caught my attention. It says: Today's need for love that's real. Hah! And I wonder what it will say. So, i got the book. So, back to the interesting quote.

It is this: The opposite of love is not 'hate', but 'indifference'.

Yeah, i'm guilty. Too selfish too often.

Sigh.

Today felt like a total waste. The after effect of being sick! I feel as if I need to sleep all the time. Body feeling as if it lacks something. I didn't do anything productive. Well, okay, I manage to borrow books from the library, finish 3 chapters of a book i'm suppose to read for my test on monday, half decided on what I want to write for the essay. Honestly, I just feel like i didn't get anything done today. That sucks! Feel like i just totally wasted the whole day away....argh!

something is very wrong but i can't tell what.

Preference

I realise recently that people prefer the noisy side of me. When I'm quiet, I get remarks like "eh, are you okay ar?", "Is something bothering you?", or better still "Why suddenly act demure?" or "why so sad today?" When I'm quiet, it doesn't necessarily mean there is something wrong with me okay! Or that I am "acting demure".

It's so sad you know. That I can't be quiet because all people prefer of me is the noisy side. It's not that I want to please people. But, i can't stand being asked these questions. I rather people accept that I am both noisy and quiet - both included in me! But, to be nice, I shouldn't blame people for asking or making such comments la. It's not their fault for not knowing me better. Maybe people ask such questions because they care.

Sometimes, I just want to hide.







I've been so tired recently. I tell people I don't understand why but I think I do. My mind has no time to rest. It is working even when I'm sleeping! That's why i get up feeling as if i just went to bed. It sucks.

I want a short trip to somewhere. Maybe I'll do something this weekend. Have to start planning. Short short trip. But, where?

What do you do when you feel lonely?

night of lame jokes...

I feel extremely guilty for going to Botak Jones for dinner. I could feel my heart beating 100 times faster. I was afraid I was going to get a heart attack! HAH! Met Yuen Ting and Candice there. Yuen Ting was doing a write up for Campus Observer while Candice was just packing dinner before she goes for church meeting. I was there with Mark and Jeremy. The queue for dinner was super long but thank God for a seat I got and then I was able to run to the money changer and then to the bank. The ground were all wet because it rained and I was wearing my grip-less slippers. I was really thankful to God that I didn't fall. Would have caused a great laugh though!

Didn't do much today. I probably woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Infact, I didn't feel like waking up today. I was fully awake by 8am but lazed on the bed till 9am. Terrible girl! But yes. When I finally did get out of bed, I plunged my bump on my chair and blank-out for a while - trying to decide what to do and what to wear. I won't say i wasted my day away coz after i did my QT, I read the article for LPP lecture. At 1145, I left for my LPP lecture and den we had a group lunch. It was a good time to gather and eat and talk nonsense, get to know one another better. Too bad Mich couldn't join us. Anyway, as per our last meeting, we started talking about gays but this time, with more insight to the "status" of our friend, talk more about the gay church in Singapore, each other's opinion about homosexuality. Don't get me started on the gay church - it's just so wrong! Argh.........

After the groupie left, i met up with Ade to pray - ah, it's always good to meet up, talk, share and pray. It feels so good!!! haha. It's not just knowing that someone cares but that someone is here to hear you out, share your burden and uphold you in prayer - it means much to me!

I had in mind to go to clementi to get my Ringgits changed and then go to the bank to drop the cheque but it was raining, so i was lazy. But, i bumped into Jeremy and Mark and then i just decided to go with them for dinner. It was a good thing. Because they wanted to go to Botak Jones for dinner but neither of them have ever been there before. All they know is that it is in Clementi. So, smart alec me brought them to where it was, got a seat for them and then left to the bank and then back to where they were for dinner.

Mark has an obsession with men's body. He goes on and on about noel's body and honestly, it is a bit weird to hear a guy talk so obsessively about another guy's body. And he even asked me "Have you seen noel without his shirt?" GASP!! Of course not. And honestly, I don't want to. But, it was fun talking to him and jeremy and just having a purely rubbish talk la....Relax and just enjoying each other's company and laugh about stuff. It was fun. Thankfully the rest of the Monday GC weren't there for dinner. With just Mark and Jerm, it was already too much lameness to handle....

I wanted to start on my take home quiz (for Lang & Internet) but nah, my brain decided to not function at all. I downloaded wordsmith but when I looked at all the data, my mind is just blank. How am I suppose to write 1000 words? Die....

ps: i seem to be blogging about random stuff lately - not because i've no thoughts but because there's too much and it's hard to pen (or rather, type) them (all) down. :)

errr....what is this about?

I will blog. But, I don’t promise you an interesting one. And nope, it’s not titled Gary!

The viruses have found me. I look forward to 14 hours of sleep only to remember that I have 2 tests coming up and an assignment due. There goes my dream! I hate seeing doctors so I will just make do with vit. C and panadols and sleep!!

Everyone is asking how was CNY. It was nothing to be proud of because I spent most of my time studying! (yes, how boring can that be rite?) and just lazing at home with family members. I didn’t visit friends or family (except for my great grandmother) because I needed to prepare for tests and assignments and catch up on all the readings. And because my father is the first child in his family, I get the privilege of staying home and having all the aunties and uncles and cousins coming over. So, I don’t need to move! Hah! But, it was really cool because I liked it – spending CNY with close relatives where smiles are not fake and they don’t ask me questions like, how old am I? what am I doing? Where am I studying? What do I plan to do after I graduate? So, it was all fun and good. I know it isn’t a time for mugging but I had to – I’m waaay behind my work and there’s just no way I can catch up with work if I didn’t study during the hols.

So much for holidays.

Surprisingly, I got quite a lot of angpows. Haha. CNY is not all about ang pows. But really, I’m quite surprised! I stayed home most of the time, but ang pows came to me. Haha, which was really cool! But, make me feel quite bad la…my siblings had to endure all the fake smiles and the heat and the boredom and I do nothing but I still get the red packets. It’s a blessing to have siblings who understand my need to stay home. Ah…

Coming back to Singapore was quite tough this time round. Don’t know why. Maybe I spent too much time at home. Maybe there was too much happiness around. Maybe it was cny. (I am Chinese afterall!)

But, I am back here and thankfully, I have work to occupy me.

Be of good cheer...

I left Singapore yesterday but with much hassle.

My bus from Larkin was at 6pm. At 5pm, I was still in NUS. Class ended at 4:30pm. I manage to get a cab only at 5:10pm. Traffic was heavy (understandably) so to cut a very long story short, i reached Larkin at 6:40pm and the bus left without me of course. Thank God, I got another bus which left at 7:15pm for RM25. Much to thank God for. One, that I still manage to get a bus last minute and for the usual price. The bus wasn't in too bad a condition. There was no accident despite the rain. I reached KL safely at 12midnight.

If I choose to, there was much to complain about yesterday. But, i shall dwell on how good God is. Yesterday, being post v-day, Dr. Ooi gave us double-shot of chocolate. How nice of him right?! Michelle made heart-shaped pineapple tarts for us. Adeline made orange cup-cakes. Woah, feel so loved man. So, before I left, I hugged the EL bunch good-bye, Happy CNY, and belated V-day. Haha. And matt commented: why you guys behaving like it's graduation? haha. I briefly explained to him what the hugs were for. But, it was still something pretty funny. But, my point is this: I overheard him comment to Hui: What a close-knitted bunch! And Hui said: Yeah. So nice and cosy!

Yeah, I agree with them. We're a bunch of close-knitted friends, and we have a very pleasant and cosy friendship! haha....

And being Malaysian is really such a blessing - coz we're muhibah....

On wednesday, Edgar commented that I looked like a malay. On Thursday, a taxi driver commented that I look a little like an Indian. People have asked me if i was malay but that was purely because I can sound like one. Edgar said I looked like a malay coz he saw me without much light, so looking rather tanned. But, indian? HUH? How does a chinese look indian? You tell me. And the best part was he said my nose looked like an indian nose. Woah. My eyes are completely chinese - that's undebatable. But my nose are very flat too....how is that indian-looking? He asked me if my father was indian. NOPE. I have indian friends??? haha.

I say it's because i'm Malaysian. We have all the different races blood in each of us. We can look whatever we want...haha.....

Happy Chinese New Year people... :)

Count every blessing...

I walked to YIH today to collect exam results slip. And while i was in YIH, i thought i'd buy lunch for Mich and Val since they always come late to class because they have to grab lunch. So, while waiting for Mich's reply regarding lunch, I met Gary and oh well, I ended up having lunch with him. And I must say, it was very pleasant getting to know him more. He is an extremely interesting person! Yeah, truly!

Blessing of the day! haha....

Stressed but quite happy.

I'm taking this module called "Bible and Christianity" and it's so heavy! Gosh. In two weeks, I have 7 chapters to read. Oh, what is wrong with this man?? He's crazy. And I think my tutor is crazy too. She wants to give us a mini quiz this coming week for the book we've just finished reading. Yeah, 7 chapters, seven!!! I'm going nuts trying to just read everything. And there's no way I'm going to be able to read another book in time for my tutorial. I mean, there's 8 chapters in the book that we're suppose to read and gosh, one week? No way. I have an assignment due the following week and it's 40%. So, I'm trying my best to juggle work and rest and ministry so please do pray very hard for me. I'm going nuts.

I am seldom this busy. So many people have said "Jee Lee, you seem to be very bogged down with work recently…" and my answer would be: "You have no idea…" I mean, yeah, you still see me smiling as if there isn't a care in the world but I am stressed la. Mel saw me on Wed and she said "Why are you always so happy?" And the truth is: I'm not always happy but I smile because other people deserve to be greeted with a smile. But other than that, I am stressed. I am not sad. So I smile as usual. :)

The power of a smile is tremendous!! The power of singing is great!!! The power of a joyful spirit is indescribable!!! The joy of the Lord is my strength!! :)


Oh, thanks Shel for the publicity for "Walking Her Home" - It is so sweet. I've been wanting Mark Schultz's latest album - Broken & Beautiful!! Have you listened to Broken and Beautiful? It's very nice too…:) Check it out here!!

It will all be a-okaaaay!

At 2am, my stomach is telling me it needs feeding. So sorry, stomach, it’s 2am. Technically, that means that it’s too late to feed you.

My roommate just looked at my stack of notes and she said “Wah, only into the third week of school and your notes are so thick ar?” yeap. They are piling up. Third year is no joke man.

I am a little (okay, a little might be an understatement) overwhelmed by work.

I have in my hand ministry & school work. School work divides into 5 because there are 5 modules. Ministry divides into two parts, the administrative part which includes ex-co and the next part is the hard work, which includes follow-up and outreach. It’s my last semester in NUS. I have to make full use of everything that is given to me. I must work my hardest!! I will be the geek and read every single article that I need to. I will do all that I need to in the ministry I am part of. And that means, unnecessary stress. Haha. I’m not very wise. Still, it’s my last semester. I don’t know what entails upon graduation. God has given me much, the least I can do is to be faithful in the very little HE has given me. Yet at the same time, I recognise that God is sovereign and He can work wonders, without me. But, God has given therefore, I cannot neglect. Faithfulness!!!!

So, pray with me!!

Haha…I slept only 2 hours yesterday. I think that says much about how stressed I am eh? Haha.

Still, I want to thank God because there are lots of joys in life that He has given me despite tiredness and stress. For instance, today I met up with Adeline to pray and it was good to meet and pray after such a long time. I trashed out a particular burden in me to my dear roommate and she listened intently, making me feel that my burden is very valid. (I thought it was silly!) I had a positive attitude towards the happenings of the day even though under normal circumstances I would be the grumpiest of person since I only manage to catch 2 hours of sleep and even that, not the deepest sleep. So, I really thank God. Today, on the bus back to school, one thought just struck my mind: ‘Be of good cheer…’ this phrase appeared quite a bit in the book of Mark and I was surprised that it suddenly pop-up in my head. But, I am glad God gave me the strength to have that good cheer.

So, yeap. Thank God!!!