Monday, November 27, 2006

Excitednya....

I restricted myself to no blogging for the next one week and a half because erm, I'm in the midst of exams. But, haha. It won't work. So, here I am at midnight blogging when I have a paper tomorrow. And bearing in mind that i only slept at 6am this morning, I should be extremely tired by now and if i have any sort of wisdom, would head to bed really soon!

But, something more exciting than exams calls for this post.

Earlier this year, we witness the getting together in holy matrimony of two person whom we now know as Mr. & Mrs. Cat.




Now, they are parents. I'm so excited. I told Mrs. Cat to wait for me to come back to KL before she gives birth but I guess, the kitten couldn't wait. So, I would just sulk in misery for not being able to meet the kitten any sooner. It really has been exciting. It's extremely exciting to know your buddy gave birth and is now a mother. But, it even makes me superbly happy when the new-mother, in her physical pain and emotional delight, SMS-es me to tell of the good news! How privileged I am!!! All the way to Singapore! I get the news from the mother cat!!! For those of you who can go visit her, don't! Let her rest. She's extremely tired right now and having to entertain families and collegues and church members, she really needs rest. So, do Mr. & Mrs. Cat a favour. Send the couple a congratulatory SMS and then go buy a gift and then visit them in maybe 2 weeks time. That's wisest! haha.

Wah. So exciting!!!

And then this morning I had a chance to chat with my mommy and then just to hear another good news too. But, this is family secret. Still, two good news in one day! I'm very happy!!! Can't wait to be back in KL!!!

Today is a good day. Not only because of these two things but because many other sweet and nice things happened. :) Oh my....Thank you God...

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Woah. Mind blown off....

Finals are starting soon…in about 9 days more. I have not started studying yet. But, I will start tomorrow. But, now…for the updates on the happenings of the past few days….

Me and a few of my classmates went to JB yesterday for a time of fun and laughter. It was quite fun – after two hectic weeks of finishing up assignments and sitting for tests, it was good that we get time off before we start mugging for the finals. It was a good time spent though I despise how things are so much more expensive just because it is in JOHOR, next to Singapore, where the currency is double ours OR the service provided. JB, though next to Singapore: a second world country – developed but still can develop further, is in a terrible condition. Sigh. I love my country but I’m not biased. I know we are terrifically good for food but there are terrible things about us too. Sigh. So anyway, we went shopping but the bad news was, *sigh* I couldn’t withdraw money. So, I was ringgit-less. It was a terrible feeling having to eat off my friends and that kinda spoilt my mood but I was glad that I have very good friends who would allow me to eat off them and they were trying to take my mind off it. But, money-less means I can’t shop. I can’t possibly make my friends pay for my food and movie tickets and still get them to buy clothes for me rite? So, no shopping. BUT, I saw this fantastic looking blouse – it was like the ONE thing I’ve been looking for. It’s very nice. No money, no talk. But I had my pleasure in window shopping – together with my friends, as they tried on clothes, I did too. It was quite fun. Coz I know I wasn’t gonna buy anything but I would be bored if I didn’t do anything. So, I tried on clothes, like they did. And it was quite fun.





much wanted blouse Posted by Picasa


The pile that we spent 15 mins looking at. Funny that we spent 15 mins of our trip looking at these...erm, essentials... Posted by Picasa

We watched a movie. The one thing that I was so looking forward to : Happy Feet!! I wasn’t sure if it is out in Malaysia already because it wasn’t out in Singapore yet. Oh but I enjoyed it so much. Pretty idealistic but that’s one thing pardonable with cartoons rite? And oh, the music, it was nice. I came out of it feeling really happy and I didn’t mind watching it again. The thing about Warner’s Brothers is that they really touch the emotional side of me. So yeah, I tear-ed a little at one point but I’m just over-emotional. Not many people are like me. Nonetheless, it was really fun! Go watch it. Especially, if you want something light-hearted and nice to watch, something that makes you want to sing and dance…. It was entertaining.




Ticket ticket!!! Happy feet!!!! Posted by Picasa

And now, for the most important thing that happened :


On Friday, The NUS Navigators had a time of dinner together – food prepared by staff and graduates for us – so it was free dinner and it wasn’t just for us, it was for a platform for us to get our friends, Christians or non-Christians, down to have dinner together – to pray for them and bless them. Ah, I haven’t been down for nav rallies for a few weeks already. And I was starting to get comfortable not going. So, I naturally didn’t feel like going down for it as well. But, feeling obligated, I went. I brought my friend, Mary along.




Desserts Posted by Picasa

Now, let me tell you about Mary. Mary is a friend I met in a class we are taking together. Mary stood out because she was an exchange student and my lecturer always asks her questions. So, I noticed her. But I didn’t had the intention of reaching out to her or anything like that. Amongst my classmates, I was only thinking of my group of friends – terrible rite?! So, one day, after class me and my classmates had lunch together and while we were getting food, we saw Mary walked by with her tray of food and she saw us so we smiled to each other. I had wanted to ask her to come sit with us but since she just walked away, I tot “aiyah. Nvm la.” So I went and get my food and when I got to my seat, I was pleasantly surprised to see Mary there. See, she went looking for a place to sit and my very faithful friend, Ade, spotted her and invited her to sit together with us. And through that, we got to know each other better. And I would remember how much at that point, it meant something to her because she was feeling rather lonely and we were there to befriend her. Not being proud or boasting, but I’m just amazed at how God was loving her.

I have had the opportunity of sharing my faith with her and in return hear her experiences of her encounters with God and I felt that there’s something special about mary – that inasmuch as she rejected Christ, she was in search of something and I knew that the answer was Christ. And it’s really amazing. So, I was praying more after that encounter and here and there when I have lunches or dinners with her, we’d talk more openly and honestly about our beliefs. It has been good.

So, Friday she came for our dinner. Prayed very hard. Bernard, our ministry leader, shared about going to God not based on performances alone. I paid attention a little but prayed more. After his sharing and prayer, I had an inclination to talk to Mary about something – cannot procrastinate. Err…I didn’t quite know how to and what to say. So, as we were all getting ready to leave the table, including Mary and I, I stopped and ask Mary : So what do you think? I didn’t know what that question meant and what kind of respond I was expecting. But as if she read my mind, she said : Oh, dinner was good and errm, I don’t know. I gave her a *huh* look and then she continued to explain that she don’t know if she can do this – this: Christian thing. She poured out some questions she had and I tried to explain certain things. I know she had an experience of understanding Christianity, even tried to read the bible and all that, but at the end of it all, she said no. But, it’s like so superbly obvious that God is knocking at her door. So, I talked with her and guess what? She popped me an unexpected question. “So, how do I do this?” = “how do I accept Christ?”. I almost said, okay, let’s pray. But felt that something was amiss. And the next question came as a surprise to me too. I asked her: Mary, how much do you know about Jesus Christ? And she said “Well, I knew who he was and what he did but not really” I knew then what was amiss. She doesn’t know Jesus Christ and HIS work and how that all applies to her. So, I asked her : “Do you want to know more?” and I basically made an appointment to read the Bible with her to learn more. We had a pretty long conversation. And in the end, I prayed for her. And, we parted.

I was amazed at how things went. I never expected Mary to say she wants to accept Christ so fast. I’ve seen with my eyes how God is working in her. And she’s like all ready edi la. I never expected to even see anything happen through the dinner although I must have silently wished something would have happened. If not, why would I even bother to invite her for our dinner right? But, all that happened were really out of my expectations. And it was really cool! Prayers answered and best part was seeing a love relationship beginning. It’s like, God wants to reach her. She wants to reach God. There was just something lacking and God is using me to be part of meeting this lack. Woah. Privileged! Honoured! So totally didn’t expect it. I called Ade to tell her the beautiful news and how we have news for rejoicing and praying for something more specific now.

And I remember how reluctant I was a day before the dinner and wished I don’t need to go and how God is so good - that HE never did let me go. That HE used me despite how I felt. It reminded of what I heard during the women conference in Doulos. I felt so blessed. I thank God with all my heart for all that happened – to me, to mary. And to ade, it’s like our first fruit of our labour of love and in our journey of partnership!!! It’s so exciting. It’s like giving birth after 9 months pregnancy. Haha….So exciting! Ade has her story of her outreach to Mary too. It’s amazing how God is using both of us and reaching out to both of us in different ways and reaching out to Mary. It's humbling to know that God chooses to use us especially when we know who we are and what we are like. Maybe I don't truly understand God's grace but I do experience it. And as I stand before God in reflection over what happened, I am humbled and not proud. Because I cannot stand before God and try to lie to myself and take credit for what I did not do. And so, all glory and honour goes to God.


God is good…





Arts canteen and it's green tables...GONE Posted by Picasa

Friday, November 17, 2006

Beautiful Picture


It was a really good time just fellowshipping - huili, zac, James and I.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

The question is: Who are you? - editted

Mufasa: Simba, you have forgotten me
Simba: No, how could I?
Mufasa: You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life.
Simba: How can I go back? I'm not who I used to be.
Mufasa: Remember who you are. You are my son and the one true king. Remember...

I love this scene from Lion King.

*NOTE: I have editted this post and deleted a huge chunk that was in the original post. That was done mainly because erm, I think I was letting too much of myself out into the world WIDE web. Sucks I know but still, sorry.*

A thought that ran through my mind as I read the lines in Lion King is this: yeah, as christians, so many times we forget our identity. and we don't take our place in the circle of life. and we run away...far far away. neglecting completely the things we are to do, our responsibilities, our Father's call. I speak for myself. Easier to just sing "Hakuna Matata" everyday than to face ugly uncle Scar, even if that is inevitable and a must. Sad isn't it? but yeah la.... just something for you (and definitely, I) to think of....

Mufasa: You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the Circle of Life.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Pray for me

Thanks to my 4 hour sleep last night, I now feel like i can sleep till forever. I'm so tired yet there's so much to do. I'm gonna go and sleep early tonite so that I will not be sleepy tmr and hopefully tmr will be a very productive day.

And pray for me.

It's as if everything is dropping a bomb at me. Next week, I have 2 tests and 2 assignments due. Which means I will have to go crazy till the end of next week. I am already feeling rather bombarded already now. That's why I have to listen to kiddish songs to keep me sane. All other kind of songs evoke some kind of emotions in me. And emotions can overwhelm me now. I will get too tired. No time for that now. Cannot allow that to happen now. Sigh.

And I really feel like I've no time for anything. but people are coming to ask me to do this or do that. Argh. I dont have time. Not that I dowan to do for you. Not that I dowan to help. I just am very irritable lately la. If i know something is not my job scope, and I really have no time to do, I feel like shooting it in their face and saying : Why u asking me to do for u? Go do urself la. U think i very free ar? But I know that by saying that, I'm behaving like a very unkind and selfish kid. I'm sure it's not like everyone's an irresponsible cat and they are just looking for ppl to finish up their work. I trust that every single person who has come up to me and say they need help trully needs help. So, I should try my best to help. God, you sustain me okay. I gonna pengsan edi.

So now, before I really pengsan I should go and get some proper rest and wake up tmr to a whole lot of work to do and try to do them. But I cannot stay like this for long, so I'm relying on God's grace to bring me through.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I can't say this enough, but THANK YOU GOD!

This is how I cope with stress: I change blog templates.

I should be sleeping now, especially when I need to wake up early tmr.

But, here's a short entry (totally not doing justice to the value of the happenings of the day!).

It being my free day, I totally messed everything up by making it not at all productive. Yes, I did some work in the morning and tried to do some work in the day time and finally managed to finish about 3 chapters of readings in the night. But trust me, it's far less than expected to have been done. Feeling rather disappointed with myself.

There was BS this evening. I wished there wasn't gonna be one so I sms-ed my girls and asked if they were coming anot (all the time silently wishing they will all not come. I know, I'm a terrible leader!) But all said they were coming. No choice la. Have to go.

I didn't feel too well. So, all I could do was just commit it to the Lord. I prayed like mad because I felt totally hopeless and a great sense of I-cannot-do-this! And you could probably expect this, God is good!

Today, one of the thoughts that came to me was this: I'm a terrible leader. I know why God wouldn't want to enlarge my territory. I know why i'd be left with the same girls year in, year out. (not that I dont like them, but I of course wish for an enlarged territory) hah. No laughing matter. Infact, a very sad fact. Because to me, it reflects how faithful a servant I am - and that means, NOT FAITHFUL.

It shouldn't come as a surprise to me but I was pleasantly suprised at how well BS went even though (1) I didnt prepare for BS today and (2) Me and Feli didnt get time to pray for the session before it started. And I really thank God because I felt like I've never been shot with so many questions at one time before and I went (silently of course) "aih. Questions again. I don't know la." But of course, when donno, shoot the questions back to other people and in the meantime, shoot prayer arrows to God. Then, step out in faith and the words came like as if it was all in my mind all along. The way Bible verses came together. And like I said, this shouldn't come as a surprise. It's not like this is the first time this is happening. God is answering my prayer and guiding me.

Theresa SMSed Weiting,who forwarded the msg to me, saying she enjoyed today's session and wished to join us for our next BS. How did I react? "Hmm....okay" Don't exactly know what to say. Let it sink in for a while and then I knew what God was trying to do. He was encouraging me.

But more than that, it was a reminder. Because even before I step into the ex-co, I hesitated because I really want God to enlarge my territory and not be bogged down with admin work. Gah, dislike admin work! And day in day out, I pray for God to bring me to people who needs HIM. But, time to time, when I evaluate, I notice how unfaithful I am to the work HE has given me. FAIL. But God today reminded me how throughout this semester, no matter how much a failure I think I am or how unfaithful I think I am, God is still enlarging my territory. HE has brought people to me (instead of me going to people), He has placed a burden in my heart for certain people and like it or not, I see progress in the girls I'm in contact with.

And do I say it's me? Oh please. I still say that I am a big big failure. And trust me, I don't do much. I really don't. So, even as much as I'd like to take credits for myself, I can't! Because I know how much I have done and I know that with that teeny weeny bit of effort and seeing the fruit that it bore, all I can say is that it is not what I have done. But it is all God's work!

Good Grief!!

There's something about Peanuts that I like.

Now, almost everything goes : Good Grief!!!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Part 2

The second event would be:

Walk His Trail by Footstool Players

We didn’t do an official headcount, but the attendance was probably about 600 people. With the hall packed and with chairs in the aisles, the room temperature rose so much so that Joshua was complaining that it was warm. And well, up in the gallery, it’s always cold, never warm.

It sucked that the PA system gave problems because honestly, I had difficulty trying to even catch some of the words that people were saying – esp the newbies in the team. It’s not easy trying to throw your voice at a hall packed with 600 odd people. And, I was sitting in the gallery. So, yeah, it was a little hard trying to catch every single word.

I was pleased to see some old team members there – ie: Jon and Geri. It’s nice to know that footstool is expanding but when you’ve seen many of footstool production with Colin, Jon, Sean and Geri, you kinda have certain expectations and I guess, it’ll take some time before some of the newbies match the standards of the pioneers of footstool players. Still, I salute them for the kind of commitment each of them has put into this production. I can’t imagine the weeks and hours of rehersal and touring! Oh gosh. I’m sure they are glad it has finally ended.

Go and read about the play here.

A few things really warmed my heart from the play:

Seeing how God really brought people together. Jim Elliot and his friends and each with their wives. Seeing too that God will provide the people for the work. God will knock on each person’s heart and when they respond, they are part of a very glorious work. Sometimes, we never understand how glorious things can be.

Seeing how Jim Elliot and his friends went out of the way to love. They didn’t even get to share the gospel,(the bridge illustration way). All they managed to do was to show their love to these tribal people and they got killed for that. Out of the way. Reckless abandon to show love. Why? Because God is love. Deeply touched.

When Jim Elliot exclaimed : "I have prayed for 5 years and now they are finally opening up. Thank You God”, my heart cried out “God, I have prayed for 6 years now. When can I see them embrace you?” I know God is working. I have seen it in the lives of the people I am praying for. I continue to pray and do as I can.

How each wives struggled when their husbands are willing to die just to show love. They will be widows in a jungle, totally out of comfort zone. They went to Ecuador with their husbands and will leave without one. Struggle and struggle. But was a good reminder that God is their first love and know that God will be each person’s shepherd. There was no need to fear although fear is almost impossible in times such as those. Their struggle was so real. Never easy to let go eh? But God is my first love and I cannot forget that. In whatever love I seek for from a man, I should first seek these in God. Because God’s love is greater than a man’s love.

Jim Elliot and his friends died. Elisabeth Elliot and some people carried on the work. That was how the gospel penetrated into the lives of the Aucas. I wondered what would have happened if Elisabeth Elliot didn’t continue the work but instead wallowed in pity and go back to USA. I mean, how scary it is to face the very people who have killed your husband and even more scary to have children with you. So, carry on the work. A lesson penetrated deep into me.

To love God and His word so much. To experience Him so mightily that it compels me to give my life to Him for who else deserves such worship. To love His people. To love the lost. To have His heart as mine own. To be obedient. To be faithful.

A man after His own heart is hard to find. A man who recklessly abandons everything to show God’s love is hard to find. A man who loves God with all His heart, soul, mind and strength is hard to find too.

Full time missions, wait for me....Here i come!!! hehe....God, work something out.

It was a very good day - part 1

The two performance I went for on Saturday are worth a blog post each. I’ll see how this goes anyway.

Jee Aun’s Kindergarten Graduation Concert

It was extremely irritating. With participating 11 kindergartens, it was extremely patience testing when the emcees were just two noisy women yaking all the way. Trust me, it was so irritating that my father and I walked out half way through the concert. It was extremely irritating and boring. So, what why is this blog worthy? Because my brother won “Student of the Year” award. I was and still am a very proud sister. And I can’t imagine how proud my parents are.

And during the whole prize giving ceremony, my mind went back to when I was in kindergarten. How I was loved by my teachers and how at the same time, I was a laughing stock by the way I would “warn” my teachers not to scold me. I was a very daring child. Maybe spoke too much. But I remember how I conducted the song during our graduation concert too. It was so fun. But, as I sat there and watch parents, I was just so moved to see how it is so difficult to bring children up the right way, how all they want for their kids are nothing less than good, how every single’s parent faced glowed in pride as they see their son/daughter on stage – they must be the happiest persons on earth. It’s amazing. And then, I went into the “I want to be a mother” mood but at the same time doubted my ability to be a good one.

Back to the concert.

So, they had an inter-kindergarten dance competition and it was so entertaining!! Some of these kids can really dance! And oh gosh, they are so cute!

Jee Aun’s kindergarten won the best dance! Haha. Again, a very proud sister I am. They choose the nicest song. This one, I’m not bragging. Many kindergarten choose songs from this year’s world cup and I have no idea why. Many children can’t dance to those songs. So, it was quite bleah. But my brother’s kindy was really cool! They danced to Lion King’s “The Circle of Life”, which is so awesome. But the dance was even greater. They had kids in all sorts of animal costume – birds, leopards, caterpillars, and all sorts la…they of course had trees too. So, all the animals was out there dancing to the song and then came the most important people – the prince and princess (aka Simba and Nala). My brother was the prince and oh boy he was so good looking! Soooo good looking! Faith was the princess and she was so cute!!! They looked good together. Hah. My brother’s costume cost approx RM200. I’m very sure the princess’ costume cost waaay more. But anyhow, he did really well. I was so impressed!!! SO impressed. I have pictures and videos but they’re all back in KL. When I do have it, I’ll post it up.

As I looked at the kids and the teachers, I went back to think again whether I should teach kids or not. I am gifted in handling kids, very gifted. And I enjoy teaching kids. It’s so fun! I’ve always had this dilemma. To teach a group that I am gifted in or a group that I can impact greatly? I don’t know. I enjoy the youth work but I guess, kids work are much easier, less tension – at least for me la. And I don’t know what joy comes out of teaching secondary school kids (or older) but I know the fulfilment of teaching younger kids. And going to work is never a problem. Oh gosh. So how? Pray lor….

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Stress come. Stress go.

Maybe I get stressed often but I rarely get this stressed. How stress? Stress until cannot sleep and stress until walk also can fall down. Yes, I fell in school today. I know!! So totally embarrassing!! Thank goodness it wasn't an unglam fall.

So, why so stress? Because all my lecturers decide to be very gracious and all at the same time decide to either have a test or an assignment due in the same week and it is the one week before the reading week. That means, it's in about one and a half weeks. Now, this sucks. Because, I have to rush so many projects and study for tests and then, my last lap for this semester starts - i gotta start studying for finals. Somehow, I wish I took some 100% CA module. Then, donnit to study for exam. Yay! Sigh. No excuse la. Have to study like mad this semester.

I kept telling myself from the moment I wake up this morning that I must not be stress coz God can take care of everything. The whole time, that was the only thing in my mind. And guess what? I had a good time talking to Ruth today, a better time talking to Wei Ting and it was uphill from then on. But, when I'm given opportunity to be alone, then argh, stress comes and nudge me a little. Argh. This time, really thank God for Ade. I really wanted to vomit blood edi. We have to cover a breaking news for our media writing module. So, we both want to do on the relocation of a bus interchange. So, what do we do? GO all the way down to the bus interchange and talk to SBS people, bus drivers, eavesdrop on people complaining about the interchange. Ade spoke to most people. I was her official photographer. Haha. It's so funny coz I almost got banged as I cleverly stood in the middle of the road taking a picture. Woah. Want to die ar?! haha.

You can probably tell. I'm a little crazy now.

I'm thankful to God for Ade because not only did she took the load off me by talking to most people, she took time off to pray together. Hehe, I would have flunked embarrassingly trying to talk to people at the bus interchange anyway since I can't speak Mandarin for nuts. But, still, she graciously just allowed me take tonnes of pictures, which I honestly don't even know if we need. I think praying with someone was something that I really really needed. Yes, I get super uptight when my schedule is interfered. (My schedule was all messed up when I got hungry and had to eat and when the time at the interchange took longer than I expected). So, anyway, it was a good time just praying and catching up. She says she feels that I'm quite light hearted - ie: not very burdened - although I keep saying that I'm stressed. Guess that whole psyching myself that God is in control did help! hehe. But the better part is this: I left with an even lighter heart.

Tonnes of it to do but just do what I can. Take things a step at a time. I cannot afford to be so stressed over so many things. I am glad I choose a topic for Critical Discourse Analysis that is a personal interest : COMICS. Haha. I somehow couldn't find Marvel comics in the school library but they had tonnes of LAT. And you know, you'd be suprise to find this out but NUS has many research books on Dilbert. Yes, Dilbert! Probably one of the lamest and funniest comic character I must say but to know that people actually research into it is extremely amusing. Haha. Look who's talking rite? I am going to analyse comics too. not research but still, analyse. I'm crazy. Janice probably thought I was crazy when I first came up with the topic but it's seriously super interesting la. And, i never realised this but NUS has tonnes of books on comics la. Oh there's even a book entitled : The Theology of Peanuts. Goodness gracious me. Trust me, it IS a theology book. (And additional interesting point is that it was located in the NUS Medical Library. Now, why would it be there?) Now, it is SO interesting that my mentor asked whether she can read the book anot. Mind you, an extremely busy woman is interested to read a comic book is news! It's on theology. Oh my goodness. This is so coool. Now you know why I like what I study. Because it's amazing! It's so fun!

Phonology and Semantics and Morphology and Syntax and Pragmatics and what have you are all just one side to being a linguist. When you apply all that to practical aspects of life, oh boy, it's amazingly interesting.

And, I know I will be able to sleep well tonight because I'm not stressed anymore. Stress for me is like having periods. It comes and it goes. Periods stay longer. Stress usually are much shorter. Now it is gone. YAY!!!

God is good.