Long long....

Wah...it's been so long since i last blogged!! Almost a week edi...scary eh!!
the reason why i've been MIA for so long edi is because of school work...i'm just too busy...there's just too much to do...have to burn mid-night oil...coz at the same time, there's so much to do...not neglecting time spend with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ...i must alwiz remember myself that as much as it is my responsibility as a student to do my best and put my best foot foward in my studies, i also need to remember that at the end of this life, i'm not gonna look back at my life and say wah...i burned the mid night oil u know..i studied so hard to be where i am today (i'm making the assumption that i ACTUALLY will be SOMEWHERE!)...i think what i'll remember is those time spent with ppl...with friends and with family!! These are the things that matter more...when i die, ppl's not gonna talk bout how hard i studied or how well i did in exams (or how bad)...
Must alwiz have the eternal in mind....temporal stuff will fade away...

And yes!! it's been a trial and struggle to juggle between BS, church, Navigators, school work, ECA...it's been tough esp with all the amount of assignment and exams....aih!!! But, look at James 1:1 - to count it ALL JOY when you fall into various trials knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience....
there's a lot that James says...read that book!!! i think a lot of wisdom there!!

And...God's in control....He's grace is more than sufficient for me as well!! So, there isn't anything to worry yah!!!
i need to be dependent on HIm tho!!! that is something that i cannot live with!!

anyway...to all those out there who's too busy and work is overwhelming, remember to persevere on because this world will pass but what we hold in eternity will NEVER pass away...Our reward's in heaven...when we see Jesus and when HE says, " well done, good and faithful servant!"....wah!!! looking forward to that day.....live life that is worthy of the calling yah...and may HIS glory shine through our trial and suffering...

who ever said suffering is a bad thing??

todaeee...

Well...well....it's been a few days since i last blogged!! well...i seem busy don't i? hahah...actually there's a lot to do but i haven't been doing much. It's just that either (1) i didn't had time to blog or (2) i didn't know what to write either because (1) i had a boring day and there's nothing to blog or (2) i had been in such a confused mode that my mind has been in such a confusion that i donno what to write or (3) i had ppl to talk to and didn't feel like blogging liao....

Whatever the reason, i just feel like blogging again today...

neway, yah...on Saturday (19/02) the NUS navigators had a whole day workshop on being a godly man and woman! It was superb!! I personally learnt so much....and i'm sure the rest of the ladies felt the same and so did the other men...I really didn't realise that the BIBLE had so much to say about being a woman (that HE wants us to be!)...anyway, yah..it started at 9:30am till (supposedly) 6pm..but oni ended i think about 6:30....close to 7pm...But, it was a really good day....we not only learnt so much bout being a woman and a man....but about relationships as well! wow...i really didn't see that coming!! but, yah...it came by suprise and i manage to learn quite a lot of things as well!! and we had a very interesting game and pairing up with the person of the opposite sex for tea...and den we had a small skit..which, i was in! wahlau....
That was a suprise too....Jye Yao called me on wednesday asking me whether or not i am free on friday and can i come and join them in their small little production...i sed i was shy but he sed that he thought that word didn't exist in my dictionary...wow...is that hurtful or what?!!...no la...it was alrite...i know most ppl think i vy thick skin wan....so, it's normal if they think i'm not a vy shy person!...hahah....yah..but it was a good act!! (not me i mean...the way the whole thing went!)....i played Ariel a.k.a Little Mermaid...Teck Yong as Prince Eric (little mermaid's husband), Gloria played Sleeping Beauty...Jye Yao played as Sleeping Beauty's husband...Hui Li played Cinderella...Edgar played as prince Charming (cinderella's husband)..Pei Fen played Belle (in beauty and the beast) and ZhiQiang played the beast....It was a really good play considering that we didn't even have a whole run through practise! But, i'm sure everyone enjoyed the small little skit!! hehehe..as we all did acting.....

During our workshop in the morning, it mentions something about mother and daughter relationship and suddenly i miss home so much!!! and i miss my mommy and my daddy!! i even cried at nite...i called home but didn't speak to them because they were not home!! haih...sad nye...i really have a lot to thank God for...esp for the wonderful parents that i have!!
and as the workshop also covered some parts bout relationship, after the whole event, beverly came to my room and we chatted! well...bout what else but bgr....
it's discouraging when i think the guy i like is interested in someone else...and even more discouraging when suddenly i think probably he isn't the one for me....But one thing i realise: i need to depend on God for the right one...God probably has a better one for me? it's really not bout compatibility but about complimentary!!

and last nite i really felt (again) what it is like to rely on HIM for comfort when no one is there for u!! yah....the LORD is there!!! and HE's real!!!! so real that there isn't any way i can say He's not!!

Anyway....tis morning i went to Ang Mo Kio bethesda hall....i actually tot i wouldnt enjoy the worship because of how i felt last nite...but no!! it was so nice worshipping HIM again...and it's been a long time ever since i last worshipped God the way i did today!! how i just wanted to praise HIS name and remember HIS love for me!!! yah...it was fantastic!!!

Really thank God for all that HE has done.....yah...it was good time.....He's a good and faithful GOD....and 1 Cor 10:31 "therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of GOD." and in 2 Cor 12:9 " My (God's) grace is sufficient for you (me), for My (God's) strength is made perfect in weakness"....wah...truly HIs grace is sufficient for me...and at times when i feel that the things that i need to do overwhelms me, i need to remember that HIS grace is sufficient for me!!!

God is a good God...ALL the time man!!!

Who Am I?

Who am i?
that the Lord of All The Earth,
would care to know my name,
would care to feel my hurt,
who am i?
that the Bright and Morning Star,
would choose to light the way,
for my ever wondering heart.

NOT because of who i am, but because of what YOU've done
NOT because of what i've done, but because of who YOU are

I am a flower quickly fading,
here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
a vapor in the wind.
Still YOU, hear me when i'm calling!
Lord, you catch me when i'm falling!
and YOU told who i am
I AM YOURS!!!

Who am i?
that the eyes that see my sin,
would look on me with love,
and watch me rise again.
who am i?
that the voice that calm the sea,
would call out through the rain,
and calm the storm in me.

-Casting Crown-

A great song to remind myself of the unworthiness of myself and seeing the greatness and sovereignity of GOD! and HIS amazing love for me!! HIS amazing work for me!!! The blessedness that i have receive!!!

thank u!

Well, I'm not very good at profound thoughts or words...not a very creative person either...so, dont expect stuff like poems or what not from me!! I'm just plain simple me!! (and prob a little boring too)....

as i was sitting in front of my comp doing nothing but chatting and watching tv, i've just been doing a bit of thinking myself.

This afternoon, i had lunch with cuong, and still thinking bout prayers last nite, i really realised that sometimes i'm such a hypocrite. I share and see that really we need to look beyond of our problems and let God work...we can't limit HIM or give HIM small jobs!! If my God is a big God,then HE will do big things. But, the thing is tis: i limit HIM...i see oni what happens infront of me...i dont see God's kingdom and HIS hands in work!! I really need to look beyond what goes on and what i see with my naked eyes!! His grace....and...like the song says :
God can make a way, where there seems to be no way.
He works in ways we cannot see.
He will make a way for me!
He will be my guide!
Hold me closely to HIS side.
His love and strength for each new day.
He will make a way! He will make a way!
...Heaven and earth will fade, but his word (or love) will still remain... He will do something new today!
really.....being dependent on HIM!!

and as i was really really missing home and friends and church...arrggghh....i realise that i have friends who really loves me. b4 tis i complain bout love in a bgr context....but i see how God has put so many ppl to love me....friends who sacrifice time and money on me....effort made by friends to keep the friendship alive altho we're far apart! (ok la...i know it's just spore, but still...it's far!!) thanks buddies....

and wow....i am very encouraged today....Liren told me that he thinks bout how unselfish a person i am....Noel says i've been a blessing! wow....i'm not saying these to praise myself. But, to tell u that God has made each one of us special even tho we think we're not. I think i am selfish and to be a blessing to someone? No way man!! but, these 2 brothers have affirm me in that! that God made me very special and HE loves me very much. And it's a real joy to know that God loves me....and He knows our every need and will comfort us and encourage us!! 2 cor really shows how much God wants to comfort us...Mark 5 shows how God encourages us even when we lose faith! He knows when to say things to us and what to say!!

To God:
There is NONE like YOU,
NO one else can touch my heart like YOU do.
I can search for all eternity long and find there is none like You!

and :
Lord, You are more precious than silver,
Lord, You are more costly than gold,
Lord, you are more beautiful than diamond
and nothing i desire compares with u.

wow...really thank God for all the encouragement and the Love that the LORD has for us. The unconditional love that Jesus has for us. For all that HE went thru!!! for the love and for alwiz meeting my needs!! and that even in difficult times, i can have joy!!! it's something that many cannot comprehend but every christians know what i'm talking about....for our joy does not depend on circumstances....but instead on Jesus HIMSELF!!

So, if anyone reads this and are down. Let me encourage you dear brother and sister, that God loves u. For He says that He loved us even when we were still sinners!! and still does!! continously...and HE knows us inside out...and He's just waiting for us to open ourselves up to HIM before HE work wonders in our lives....it's us opening up our hearts and lives! Let us walk this difficult journey of life with our heavenly father and the love of our lives - God himself!! with HIm guiding our hands and carrying us through life, we know nothing can go wrong!!! we know we need no other...we know we desire nothing else!!!

God bless everyone!!!

Thank you, LORD!!

Love??

As yesterday was Valentine's Day, i saw more girls dressing up...ppl holding flowers and even balloons...and den i decide not to hold flowers on valentine's day...hahah....not that i dont like flowers..but, it's not a practical gift! I'll throw it away...if wanna give flowers, mebbe as for appreciation can la...but on valentine's day, no way man! EVERYONE has one...i dowan!! heheh...

Anyway, yah....as ppl are all in the lovey-dovey mood, i think bout love for God.....and all that la...God's love for us!!
Truly it isn't easy to love HIM....But, i know that if anyone is worth having my love, God is the first!! My first love....

the world will tell me that i need man to make me feel loved. i say NO...God's love surpasses everything...and that includes love of man....of course i'm not saying that we live our lives in isolation and we dont need anyone else..but, yah...just God's love....and loving ourselves and others lor...

but as for bgr, i guess....i have kinda got scared liao...scared to be in a relationship...scared to even love someone....scared of getting hurt...it's not something i'm proud of saying! but, it's the truth....well, pray for me lor...dat i will be assured of God guarding my heart for me!!

tat's all for love...still feeling a bit hurt....dats why dowan to say so much....

for all of u out there, i pray that no one ever stops loving or even be afraid of loving someone...

God bless.....

well...welll....

Well well....
Looks like ONLY mr. Lai Mun Onn posts comments on my blog...hahahah...thanks mun onn...I really appreciate it!!! altho not much said, but it means a lot....means u visit my blog...and u read it...and u actually bother commenting....NOT LIKE SOME PPL WHO READ AND DEN JUST LEAVE WITHOUT A COMMENT....hahah...

anyway...i was looking at pics of our church's camp in genting...and darn!! i miss Life Chapel so much....when i was in life chapel, i complain and comment : why things like this instead of like that? Why they do things like this wan? haih...complain and complain...now that i'm gone, i miss it so much...of course i still complain when i get back...but i guess distance makes the heart grows fonder....

well, right now i'm actually thinking of changing church...the church that i go to doesnt seem to be growing la...of course i like it because the practises is vy similar to those of Life Chapel...but things just seem a little different..and altho the church is a much warmer church, but if it's not growing and if it doesnt help me grow and if it doesn't provide me a place of service to God...then i think it's a bit hard to stay rite? i can't just go to church on sunday for worship and breaking of bread service and then leave rite?

so...please pray for me kay...hehehe

but...yah...i miss life chapel....miss the ppl there...miss seeing ppl.....haih....but as the reality sinks in...and i know that i'll be in spore for a long long time, i guess i need to accept the fact....and den, when i do get married (if that ever happens) i'll be at my hubby's place...where-ever that would be....Malaysia?? Singapore?? India?? China?? Israel?? hahah...who knows man...i donno....

Den, when i start thinking bout BGR and getting married....i look at 1 corinthians 7 and see that celibacy is also a gift....just as marriage is a gift....and how Paul actually prefers being single...heheh...i wonder which one is a gift for me? hahah...but the thing to note is that, why does everyone thinks that if u're single then there's something really wrong with u? why?? Just because u choose not to get married, doesnt mean that somethings wrong with u...and seriously, some ppl can be a good friend but not a good husband/wife...so, why wanna torture the person u love....it's not that ppl who dont get married have no feelings whatsoever.....it's sad when i see even christians have this kind of thinking.....the same thing with wealth...doenst mean that if u're not rich, that God is not blessing u....pleas lar!!! God loves everyone of HIS child!! U think he'll ever stop blessing us?? It's how we look at it lar...HIS blessings.....

As i went out today, i was just thinking...haih...how i wish i could buy this and buy that for my mom, dad, bro and sis....but i can't...coz got no money...and sometimes, it is things like this that drives ppl to work harder to earn more money to be able to provide a comfortable life for our love ones....but den, are things like that important? if we look at things with the eternal life in mind, i guess ppl will start to realise that life isn't all about living it comfortably...of course we love our families and want to provide the best for them...but dont u think God loves them very much?? even much more than we do? Look at Jonah and u'll know what i mean....God created them and will have the best plans for each one of HIS child....and that includes our parents and family... i guess, that's why Jesus says hate ur parents....as in....love God more than our parents...by right, all things that we have....our parents and things that our parents provide for us, ultimately is from God...by the grace of GOD....so, why do we thank our parents more than we thank God? why do we want to be filial to our parents but forget who's the ultimate provider?!

hmmm......it's a corrupted that we live in today...but yet, we dont open our eyes and look deeper than what we see....we dont question anymore but accept things just as it is....we dont look deeper...but yet we expect to see....how can we when we dont even bother to look? hmmm.... and den we ask where is God? u see that happening in our recent tsunami and the september 11 thing....we see ppl asking "where is God?" and "why did God allow all these to happen?"....but we never even bother seeking God when things are good? why?? is God an escape when things bad happens? is God answerable to all the bad things that happen? WHO ARE WE TO EVEN ASK THAT?? are we bigger than GOD?

tired?

well well....

today had a tiring day...because there was so much to prepare for tutorials, i went to sleep late last nite....and den tis morning woke up early to prepare for tutorials again...haih...dead tired...and den i had 6 hours long day!!! NONSTOP....dat's a cause of my headache...but oso because i havent had a proper rest for a week at least....

but, today met up with david and aunty ivy for dinner...yay!!! good indian food man....fantastic... eat so much until come back and shit...hahahah...long time nv spend time together already....been so long...heheheh.....

ermm.....now vy tired......but am happy because tmr i wanna spend time with Jesus.....so, i'm quite excited and i just wanna seek HIM...yeah!!! so happy actually...hahahah

dats why wanna go sleep now....but, for updates : i'm doing much better emotionally at least!!! So, thanks for praying....

God bless.....

better...

Today....

I'm feeling a bit better emotionally liao....so, but as for the bgr thing...hahaha....still not vy sure but feeling better already....let the LORD leads....

but i need prayers...for those who actually reads my blog, i havent been studying but i know i need to...a lot of things are coming up but i seem indifferent to it...i seem as if i dont bother bout studying anymore...so, pls pray for me...let me have a diligent heart...so, pls pray for me okie...

ermm.....as for bgr too...pray for me...dat God will reveal to me HIS will....and let it not distract me frm studies.....

dats all lar....
ciao ciao

God bless.....