21st Birthday

Well, U guys know i was back in KL. Many things happened. I will break it into 2 parts...

Tis post esp for my birthday. The other for other stuff lar har!

So, yes....I was back in KL for my birthday. NO! I didn't go back esp for my birthday. It was term break. It was short but wanted to be back home with family and friends. And to celebrate my birthday too lar! I skipped Friday class. NUS is weird. They give holidays oni 4 days!! and so, our accademic week suppose to start on friday. ANd friday i have 2 classes. 1 tutorial and 1 lecture. Decided to skip those classes because i don't want to be on the train on my birthday which was on Thursday 22, Sept. That would be a miserable thing for me. ANd to support my friend (yes, u jon!) in watching his (first?) Footstool Directorial work. AND of course to spend more time back home with family!


We're the bride that's running away...

hmm......

There was a lot of work to be done - projects and projects...So, i brought my work back to KL. WAH! What a holiday rite? So, i was enticipating a lot of work kind of holiday. But, it didn't turn out that way. I still did my readings tho! Just didnt touch on my projects oni. I guess, God wanted me to rest! I think its important to rest. Like Eunice said, Life's not gonna stop for u. U just gotta DO IT. And, i think God wanted me to enjoy my break and give me rest. Not from responsibility - studying is my responsibility as a student. But to not push myself too much but take time to rest. And there were issues that God wanted me to confront and settle with HIM. So, yes...my time back home was spent with Family and God mainly! So, it was good!....It was a good break because being away from busy Singapore is good rite? Not that KL is very much less busy...but I was feeling less stressed. :p

So...anyway.....

Birthday!!!

I was rather down and confused and depressed when i was back. With all the struggles and all that sort of thing - so, i was sad and confused and depressed.

Birthday.....

Went out with Wei Loon and Mei Jin for supper....Loon picked me up (it's so nice to be driven) and den pick mei jin up and we decide to go to Sg. Long to have supper since we gotta send Mei Jin back to hostel...Had a good time. Got my first bday pressie from Mei Jin and Chun Kit.

WengYan wished me on wednesday nite....at bout 10 plus. Hmm...a bit too early lor! I found out later she thought my birthday was on wednesday!!! MY BEST FRIEND!!!! But, at that time, i was happy to receive the sms lar!!

Jon msged me!! Wow! THAT was a suprise...So touched! Haha

Shelby called and say me Birthday song! Yay!! SOOOO touched!!

Then, MOM msged me!! haha....that was so funny and so sweet of her.

Then, my phone got a bit flooded with smses la....But, none from church mates...So sad!

Anyway, send Mei Jin back home and den we (me and Loon) went back and called Chee Keat. We picked him up and went for supper! 2nd round! Haha....I had Ramli burger Special... how special? with eggs and CHEESE!! WAAAHHH...craziness....Anyway, it is really great to see Chee Keat again. Aiyah, never change. Still as good looking as he used to be. Haha.....It's great to meet him again coz we haven't seen each other for about 3 years already! Wah...time flies eh!!

Then, Loon sent me home and we had a nice nice long chat!!! It's been a long time since we had that sort of LOONG chat rite??Thanks man for that looong chat.
And u know what? I miss bryan and Kin Aik!! I do!!!!
Went home and chatted with Jee Leng a bit. Slept about 4am.

THursday came....yay! My birthday.
BOO....nothing special. woke up to yin ngai's bday msg. Den, nothing else! Wah...A completely depressing day. I am celebrating my 21st birthday in my parent's office doing my reading!!! How sad can that be?! So, i talk to Su and i ask him, wanna go out tonite? Man!!! On my birthday, i have to invite ppl out so that i dont feel so miserable at home crying thinking that no one remembers my birthday!!!!! Haha....i was a bit better after that coz i try telling myself it doesnt matter!! ANyway, was out with Su and yueen San...and yes, we did funny things. Will post pictures later....We were at Salvation and Evangel and i saw a very interesting BIBLE. It's a parallel bible with 4 versions!!! RSV, KJV, NLT, NASB. wow...Craziness!!! hinted to su to buy that for me! Hahah.....

Anyway, den we headed for KFC. Good time just talking!!!


Happy birthday to me at KFC with Su+San=SuSan...

Went home....tired coz i think i slept late the nite before. So, slept really early. 11 plus and I was already on my bed! Den, Jeeleng comes and say "Happy Birthday Jie" and den, i fell asleep....Den, JeeLeng comes into the room and woke me up! "JIE, Wake up!! See who is here!!" Wah....give me heart attack meh! I edi asleep wan leh. So, i woke up really scared of what kind of suprise there would be....and yet, a bit blur on the things that were going on. Den, i see Aliza and Timothy! wow....wat a suprise....So nice. We chatted....and chatted but not for long coz i was really really blur. So, learn ur lesson. Don't talk serious stuff with JeeLee when she's already asleep and not completely awake and esp so when she's tired! haha...But, it was a nice suprise. they were suppose to meet up with Su and Yueensan and we all have supper together but i donno what happened and they didnt turn up. Miscommunication. So, they had to come to the house. Hahah....But, it was very sweet of u guys!!! Thanks man!!! And thanks Su for arranging it all....and giving directions to me home. It's been a tremendous long time since tim last came to my house. haha

So, i went to sleep....

but, i must include this too....i was not disappointed in 1 aspect. My other best friend, Kin Aik, remembered my birthday!!!!

So...friday came....aih...boring day!! Nothing much about birthdays....Altho it was the Malaysian Idol finals and yes, i voted for Daniel! Our 2nd Malaysian IDol!!! woohoo....And Mun Onn, I do not have 3 good reasons for voting for him..I only have 1. U know what it is!

Den, saturday came...nothing special too....until NITE!

So, there was a suprise party! I knew there was a party but did not want to put my hopes up high. I knew if there was to be a party and my friends were invited, church fellas will be invited. and yeah, they didnt really hide! Haha....so, yes...i saw them before they could jump out of their hiding place with their "SUPRISE!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!" and well, i saw my teacher sitting somewhere nearby. I ran to her! Honestly, that was a bigger suprise!! Doesnt mean that i dont appreciate the suprise guys! I do...but i knew!! hehehe.....I know i can count on u guys to do things like that la. VERY VERY honestly, no matter how much suprises i got from other ppl and not so much from u guys, it was U GUYS - fellow Life Chapel-ians that made my day sooooo special and i love u guys! I even brought back the pressies u gave me to Singapore!!

yes, seeing boon khoon and my F6 friends were a big suprise coz i didnt expect my sister to go contacting u guys! And i actually tot boon khoon was in Korea!!! And so many whom i do not keep in touch with anymore. So, yes...suprise.

Suprised to see Ms. Yeo, Mr. and Mrs. Wong (Church elder) , all the other uncles and aunties from church....Suprised to see Pn. Ooi!! My favourite secondary school teacher!!! When i saw her, i ran to hug her. She did likewise! Haha...like some hindi movie. haha...Suprised to see David. Stupid fella never tell me he's back in KL!!! But, thanks for even coming! :D

Super suprised....

REAlly appreciate all the effort by mom and Jee Leng.
Really appreciate u all for coming.

Yeah yeah yeah....

I got pushed into the pool. I told u guys I can't swim yet u guys weren't very nice! Samuel, the squeeze on the shoulder edi told me before hand that u were gonna throw me into the pool! U better be grateful i didnt push u down along with me. I wanted to! But, yeah....u were having LEATHER shoes!!! Josh got a scratch from me...and had his back full of cream. Yeah, the minute i got out of the pool, Dinah and May squashed cake onto my face!! how nice of them!!

overAll...it was a very much appreciated birthday!!!

thank u ppl!!!

ANd nope, i didn't get any key. No need for that!!!

Back in HIS arms again...

I "bumped" into this song yesterday. Was in my hard disk without me knowing it. I donno how it got there. But it was there....I saw it. Eh, Mark Schultz.....The oni song i tot i had was "Letters from War"...A touching song eh! But, when I heard this song and read the lyrics for this song, I can't help but be so darn thankful to God for calling me. For loving me. For understanding....Aih....I don't think i can express fully how i feel. It's difficult. Maybe if you know how i am feeling concerning the things that i am going through, you might understand. However, I don't think anyone fully understands what i am going through (haha, that's because i nv tell anyone ;p). But, it's completely alrite. When i feel like telling someone, i will! :D But yeah....I guess to all those out there who doesn't feel accepted by HIM, you read and listen to this song and the truth is there....YOU ARE!!

I see it in your eyes
The pain you keep inside
It's slowly tearing you apart
Though you've run away
Reminded day by day
You've stumbled and you've fallen
Still He's calling

I believe that He loves you where you are
I believe that you've seen the hands of God
I believe that you'll know it when
You're back in His arms again

I believe that He never let you go
I believe that He's wanting you to know
I believe that He'll lead you 'til
you're back in His arms again

Glad I found you here
'Cause in between the tears
Something in your eyes shows hope
And I stand before you now
As one that knows about
Coming to Him open and broken

And I know that He's callin'
He's callin' you Home

One life, one love, one way Home
And when you rise and when you fall
He will see you through it all
He is waiting, you are called,
back in His arms again.

by: Mark Schultz

Love??

I just came back from watching a movie with Lynn. We were so afraid of watching a movie that sux. The last movie we watched as cousins were "The Cut" or was it "The Cutter"? Starring Robin Williams. So, i tot, it wouldn't be that bad rite? That movie had good storyline. but the way the storyline was made into a movie really sux. So, this time we were trying real hard not to spoil our day by watching a bad movie. But, I'm telling u, it was a good movie. Ok, for those who don't already know, i've got a THING for Based-on-true-story movies. And this was starring Russell Crowe!! Awww......How not to watch rite? But when we were there, we were contemplating a horror movie "Deep Waters" and that movie that stars Russell Crowe called "Cinderella Man"....I for one haven't watched a horror movie in a cinema for a long long time. AND, so i tot it'll be a good chance to watch a horror movie without friends to laugh at me jumping up my seat whenever there's a stupid scary scene. But, i decided not to. I will stick to Cinderella Man. And BOY, it was a good choice. A very very good one! It was a good movie i would say. I saw half of the preview the other day but wasn't too keen on it because it seemed as if it was all about boxing. A typical male movie. I don't like boxing. I can't bear such inhumane sport. But the based-on-true-story just kept popping up in my head. haha....

Anyway, yeah...it's a good movie. And so, ppl, here's ur green light. It's great! Ok...of course tastes on movies vary but if u like forrest gump, u should quite like this one! So, JON, go for it!!! hehehe....

Tears were welling up my eyes as i sit freezing in the cinema. I didn't understand why either. Here's probably why :

To see the love a man has for his wife...
To see the love a father has for his children...
To see the love a woman has for her husband...
To see the love a mother has for her children...

And to think about :

The love my dad has for my mom...
The love my dad has for us children...
The love my mom has for my dad...
The love my mom has for us....

AND

The love my husband will have for me....
The love my husband will have for our children...
The love I will have for my husband...
The love I will have for our children....

How not to tear?

But above all,

To think of the love God has for His son.
To think of the love God has for His children...
To think the sufferings and mockery that Jesus had to go through for the love of human mankind...
To think of the sufferings and mockery that Jesus had to go through for ME...

What kept Jesus going?

Faces that flashed in HIS mind while HE was carrying the cross??

His obedience to HIS father,
His love for me,
His love for u,
His love for us - SINNERS.....

Can I not tear?

I don't think so...
AND I believe you know why!!

Confused

You know how it feels when u don't exactly know how u feel.
You know how it feels when you don't know what exactly is God saying.
You know how it feels when you are so desperate for an answer.
You know how it all feels don't you?

And you know too that all this confusion affects the relationship you have with other people.
And you know that I don't want this to happen.
And yet, when I know that it has affected the relationship, I am as hurt as you are, or even more. Because you know that I never want it to affect the relationship.
I wish we can talk about it but we're not up to it yet.
I think we're confused.
I think it's difficult.
I won't do anything until you do something. (Unless, God is telling me to do something!)

It's so weird....

On a happier note, it's nice to be back in KL. Maybe it's also because i'm away from you. Away from confusion. haha...Not exactly but nvm. Maybe I should delete u from my MSN. But, my heart can't bear to do it. I'm just so confused.

The presence of family is alwiz very comforting.

And to see friends getting all excited for me is very funny coz I am not even excited.
I just want it to be another day. Nothing special about it. But I really appreciate it! REALLY. But, wengyan, i want to see u!!! Aihh......so sad....
Anyway, i'll probably be helping my mom cook tmr in church for Alpha. Hehehe....and nope, if anyone of u are thinking we're gonna do it in church, NO WAY! Hehe......Since mommy and daddy will be busy in church for Alpha, i will be free.....haha...*hint hint*
Don't ask me why i am not doing anything, u know how much i hate attention.
And, please don't get me anything! REally....at tis age, (OLD!!) All i really want is to know that I have ppl in my life who cares! And at tis point, i know i do! And for that, i thank God!! So, please dont bother.....I'm really really serious!!! REALLY!!

Anyway, I've deviated a lot.

I'm still confused.
I'm still aching inside.
I'm still waiting for an answer.
I'm still waiting for a msg on msn frm u.
I'm still seeking....

At the end of it,
I'm not worried.
I've got God.
He'll answer my questions...
He cares...
He loves me...

I'm fine.

Encounter Weekend...

hmm.....I just came back from Encounter weekend not too long ago. I think i mentioned about it 2 posts ago.

I am amazed at how the Lord used the opportunity to speak to me. Friendship wasn't even in my mind at all...and life??!! Hahaha......First day edi we were asked to write our obituary. I donno why but i was so overwhelmed by that activity that i just couldn't write. So, i told the Lord : I want YOU to tell me what You want to tell me. (So demanding rite?) Because i can't think straight. My feelings are all over and I definitely do not want my feelings to take control of my head. So, Lord, please help!

Haha...i remember first question : She is survived by....

I answered : Great grandchildren, grandchildren, children. A testimony of faith that i WILL get married and have children. Haha.....I often dream of wanting such family but more often than not, also have difficulty in believing that i will even have a husband. How to believe I will have a family?! BUt, yes....i believe! And the other answer to the question was : Friends....Great, true friends.....!! :D

Anyway, when i was just praying and having a conversation with the Lord while everyone scribbles things onto their paper, the Lord reminded me of something.

the last question : She always hoped she would :

The Lord brought to mind (again) something that I've alwiz wanted when I die....Something that i kinda forgot....something really beautiful....Hah! No, if u're thinking of a beautiful funeral, it's not it! Hahah.....I say it's something beautiful because someone else told me it's beautiful. Haha, but i'm sure it'll be a beautiful sight. Hah! Anyway, the Lord brought to mind 2 things : Refer to Acts 7:55-56 " But, he (Stephen) being full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God, and said, "Look! I see the heavens opened and the Son of Man standing at the righ hand of God!" Yeap! And of course, to hear what i want God to say to me... "Welcome back, my beautiful and lovely and faithful Child! I love you! Thou art my good and faithful servant!!" Yeap! That's it! :D

It's not easy. It takes faith as well - even to say that.

As i was travelling back, Tek and I conversed....

Tek : So, did u encounter God during the weekend?
Me : I alwiz encounter God...(In my mind: I don't need an encounter weekend to encounter God wert! I know i sound proud but isn't that true?)
Tek : Good! So, what did God say?
Me : God said many things and He also brought up a few issues that i now gotta look into.

Ahh...yes. What those issues are, is for me to know and for u to ask....hahaha...opps, i mean, for me to know and for u to NOT ask... :D

But, i guess, the other thing that i can mention here is this : I really REALLY thank God for friends....

When Jing asked us all to write the friends we have, I was shocked to realise that I can only name a few. Come on, who doesn't know JeeLee is the noisiest person on the face of the earth and says hie to almost anyone. So, no friends?? hmmm..... I mean, seriously....I was shocked.

To name the few that i really really treasure was very few. To name the few that i reciprocates that feeling and sentiment is even MORE few!!! But, that same DAY, when i was feeling BLEAH about the whole friendship thing, God really made use of what happened.....

First of all, there was football.....okok, NOT football but football with a tennis ball. Thank God i didn't fall together with the ball...haha, if not, real funny. Haha...Anyway, my buddies would know how much i LLOOOVEEE football eh! So, it was great fun...it would have been even more fun IF i was not so tired and was all up and ready for a game of football and if ppl whom i was playing with was also so RAR RAR about football...hahah..Nonetheless, it was great great fun!!! But, then, because we kena 0-0, so we kena penalty kick. SIENZ....I never liked penalty kick. It's so NOT team work. It's so individual....But, since EVERYONE had to kick, i had no choice rite? Thank God, masuk! If not, i really donno where to hide my face....but, i think, i would just laugh it away..hahaah

Anyway, the sad thing that happened, was that i kinda sprained my ankle during the penalty kick. Aiyoh....But, i tot...small matter...just crack the ankle back ( you know, like the way i alwiz crack my wrist)..hehe....so, i did some funny thing to the ankle and den ok liao...can walk as usual liao..no problem and i was happy!

Den we had a few more other games and den we were asked to go back into our groups and den group leaders were asked to bring scissors....So, i oso happily walked back to the dorm to take the scissors la....I bend down to take the scissors...but clever me, DON'T even know how to stand, sprained my stupid ankle again!!! this time, it was so painful i couldn't even stand. I almost cried. Aaaaiiihhh.......Evan was in the room and she looked at me so strangely. "what happened to u?" Aiih....too painful liao. Cannot say anything. Got Gillian to pass the scissors to my group member and Julia came in to massage for me...Den, walk back out as usual. hehe....

Den, i wanted to go get a drink...so, gotta walk rite?A bit painful...so, i limped a bit...ONLY A BIT! but, RongLong saw. And he asked, What happened to u? I said...ermm.....sprained it just now. Den, Lee Tat was there too...he went and grab ice for me....hui yue grab cloth for me....ronglong wrapped for me...all along i kept telling them, NO NEEd....hahah...it's not so serious...it's just a sprain. I've lived with a sprained ankle all my life and really, it's alrite...i walk a bit more and den it's fine!! But, since they insisted, so i said ok. haha...weird eh! But, they were REALY REALLY very nice to me! I felt so blessed. I felt so....errmmm....loved! and cared for! RongLong even made a drink for me....While all the wrapping and all that, sakit wert rite...i made a bit of noise..hahah...den, aih.....i caught more attention! Man, i should have really just shut up!! Den Edgar came....aiyoh, once a medic comes, its torture for me liao....hahahah...WEll, but reallly!! I appreciate it!!! He came....went and look at first aid kid la....re-wrap my ankle la....plus had to stand with my smelly feet..(we played football bare footed wert) and coming back every 15 minutes and saying ok, time to re-wrap...i am trully very very very grateful!

But, i am really very thankful to God for allowing this thing to happen. If not, I probably wouldn't have felt better emotionally! :D

And now, i thank God because my ankle is SOO much better and it's suprising because it all happened in such a short time. And now, i can walk normally liao....okok, it still hurts a little. but, it's only a tiny wee bit...No real pain..i can walk normally liao! :D I think it's probably because my left ankle has alwiz been my stronger ankle...so, heal faster!

Anyway...nite time, yin ngai called. I was suprised. I asked her why she called. She said call to disturb. Aiyoh......friends like this ar, where to get? Seriously, call u out of the blue just to talk to u and to disturb u...I appreciate it. Altho never say anything but the act of calling alone is already so comforting. I know u've been thinking of me...hehehe....

I called wengyan after that...the ONE person who will understand what i mean when i say i feel lonely. The one person who will laugh at every single thing i say. the one person who will allow me to bully her and yet laugh. the one person who will bully me back knowing that i will not get angry. so yes, i bullied her...hahah...but more importantly, i called her to tell her that she's on top of my "friends" list!! Hehehe.....Yeah, Yanni! I love you and u know how much that means lar....hehehehe...And, if u're reading this, u GOT MY HINT RITE?? hahaha......I'm waiting.... :P

yeah....As i shared, Really...God as a friend meets all our needs....even physical needs... :D

And for that, I thank Him from the bottom of my heart!!! :D

And for those other issues...hmmmm.....think think think....

Watch THE Lamb...

Watch The Lamb
Ray Boltz

Walking on the road to Jerusalem
The time had come to sacrifice again
My two small sons they walked beside me down the road
The reason that they came was to watch the lamb

They said, Daddy, daddy what will we see there
There’s so much that we don’t understand
So I told them of Moses and Father Abraham
And then I said dear children watch the lamb

There will be so many in Jerusalem today
We must be sure this little lamb doesn’t run away
And I told them of Moses and Father Abraham
And then I said dear children watch the lamb

When we reached the city I knew something must be wrong
There were no joyful worshippers there were no joyful worship songs
And I stood there with my children in the midst of angry men
Then I heard the crowd cry out,
Let’s crucify Him

We tried to leave the city but we could not get away
Forced to play in this drama a part I did not want to play
Why upon this day were men condemned to die
Why were we standing right here where soon they would pass by

I look and I said even now they come
The first one cried for mercy, the people gave him none
The second one was violent and he was arrogant and loud
I still can hear his angry voice screaming at the crowd

Then someone said there’s Jesus and I scarce believed my eyes
A man so badly beaten He barely looked alive
Blood poured from His body from the thorns on His brow
Running down the cross and falling to the ground
I watched Him as He struggled and I watched Him when He fell
The cross came down upon His back, the crowd began to yell
In that moment I felt such agony in that moment I felt such loss

Until a Roman soldier grabbed my arm and screamed "you carry His cross"
At first I tried to resist him but his hand reached for his sword
And so I knelt and I took the cross from the Lord
I put it on my shoulder we started down the street
The blood that He’d been shedding was running down my cheek

They led us to Golgotha they drove nails deep in His feet and hands
On the cross I heard Him pray "Father forgive them"
Never have I seen such love in any other eyes
"Into They hands I commit My spirit" He prayed and then He died

I stood for what seemed like years lost all sense of time
Then I felt these little hands holding on to mine
My children stood there weeping and I heard the oldest say
"Father please forgive us the lamb ran away

Daddy, daddy what have we seen here
There’s so much that we don’t understand"
So I took them in my arms we turned and faced the cross
And I said dear children "Watch the Lamb"

Life Chapel-ians, I'm sure you guys remember this song. I'm sure u guys remember the performance we did. I donno how u guys feel tho when you hear this song again. I feel lotsa things when i listen to this song. And rite now, i'm listening to it. I cannot bear to say anything.
SUCH LOVE....

Good....

I've been MIA-ing for some time already eh?

How is LIFE?

Life is good! REally!!! God is working in my life and there is nothing better.

Have u ever felt so intimate with the Lord that U really really feels and knows that he's there with u? Have u ever felt so intimate with HIM that u talk to HIM every single moment and know that it is so precious? Have you ever felt so intimate with HIM that U want to keep every single moment with HIM and you just somehow feel that your relationship is so precious? Just so precious. He is no longer the invisible God or the God u know is there beside you but the GOD who is REALLY with you. Literally holding your hands and walking side by side. WHen u need an opinion, you just turn and ask. So intimate that U know HE wants to be ur lover. Like your bf/gf. And u really feel that u are HIS. His Gf. HIS wife. And HE nudges u and tells u to keep all this so very very precious to urself and HIMself.... Awesomeness rite???

I thank God for the wonderful relationship that I have with HIM. U may say that its easier for me to experience such things because I am a girl....But, what makes u think that God is so bias towards girls?? God loves u just as much as HE loves me. And if HE wants me to have such an intimate and precious relationship with HIM, HE wants that for u too. Believe me! :D

I've had 2 test tis week. Thank God its over.

Let me tell u a little bit on what happened on yesterday's paper. It was EL2102 - Structure of sounds and words (in simpler terms, Phonetics and Phonology) heheh... I hate phonetics! But, ok...study the nite before and burn mid-night oil. Of course la, i was awake studying until about 3am ok. Hehe...But, of course i was doing some other things as well...heheheh

During test, my lecturer (Dr.M) was not around. She send her workmate from the English Language and Literature Department. So, at 11am, Ms. Tan Ling Ling walks in and apologises for being a little late. She gives out the paper. And says this "Dr. Mohanan says that if most of you don't do well for this paper, the marks for this paper will not be counted." and you know what was the most embarrasing thing i did?

I was sitting riiiigghht at the top of the Lecture Theathre and i shouted " so, everyone! U know what to do ar. DON'T DO WELL..." Everyone bursted out in laughter. Man, so embarrasing. How can i do such thing in a university?? Its mebbe something that i will do in school - within a class for 30/40 odd ppl. But, in a Lecture Theathre?? Oh man...But, i was glad that it lighten the mood a bit....Hehehe....

Another funny thing was that, Me and Janice didnt bring dictionary. We thought we needed it. So, when Michelle came, we asked her whether she brought anot. She said Yes. So, we happily told her we want to pinjam her dictionary la...She said ok. Then, when we went into the LT, I ask to see her dictionary. And the best thing was this : Her dictionary got no phonetics transcription!! WAAAAHHHH....I turn to her : Eh Mich, U bring ur dictionary for wat ar? Got no phonetics transcription wan leh!! Hahaha...

She laughed and my friends who heard oso laughed...aiyo, we were SOOO not stressed for the paper man! Hahaha.....

Then i met up with Julia. Spoke to her abit....Den we went off to pray with James. Den I left for Dhoby Ghaut. Was suppose to meet KP.

The night when i was super lonely. God sends KP to see me.

We went to makan and just spend some time togehter....
After that, I came back and rested a bit before ROngLong comes. but, before i could rest, he edi came with Zhi Wei. So, i helped them marinate the chicken. Then, i went to sleep. Cannot tahan liao. One whole week of sleeping at 3am every nite (except wed). So, took a 1 hour nap and den time to start the steamboat for the Shanghai students who is here in Singapore for exchange!

Den, Jeremy came over and den we discussed for the games for the encounter weekend. Ah...

Yeah, I'll be going for a mini-camp. Encounter weekend. Starts in about 4 hours time...and will end on Monday 1pm. Heheh.....

I feel a bit more refreshed.
I am not tired.
I feel good.
God has been good...waaaayyy tooo good liao.

Oh, the new girls bs started liao. It was good!! REally good!!! :D
Thank God for everything!!!

:D

miss...???

I've been missing home. Missing Malaysia. Missing the laidback-ness of Malaysia. Missing the fun. Missing the crazy things that we Malaysians do. Missing my family. Missing my friends.Missing my buddies. Missing those late nite calls "EH, free anot? Yam Cha?" or "What you doing later? Free anot? Lets go out". Miss driving. Miss my car.Miss those times when Me, Papa and Vern stay up late just to watch a football match (while snacking). Miss those times when I will stay up till wee hours in the morning just talking to either Mama or Papa or both or with JeeLeng. Miss going to popo's house just to eat. Miss giving suprise visits to friends or popo.Miss JeeAun's childishness. Miss a lot of things....

I really thank God for the things that He has given me. Friends....

My old friends but yet buddies. I'm sure you have this one friend who knows what you're thinking, who knows what you gonna do when you encounter some incident. Who backs you up when you need it. WHo shuts up and listen to you moan and complain. WHo lends you a shoulder to cry on. WHo drives you when you are just so lazy to drive. Whom you feel comfortable calling when you've met with an accident for the first time and yet dont dare to call home. WHo calls your other friends to go rescue you. Who from time to time, asks you how you are doing. Whom you dont need to contact daily or even often but when you two meet up, you know there's some sort of closeness and connection. Even after long being absent from each others presence, when you two meet up, you know who you are in that person's life and what position you hold in that persons heart. People who do not force you to keep in touch even though u're busy. People who understands. People who dare to say U're wrong and offend you for your own good. People who says sorry. People who care. People who loves...

Yes, i have the privilege of having friends like this....

I love you guys so much......

And for those who don't believe in platonick (donno how to spell), i won't ask u to believe it since you will only believe it if it happens to yourself. But, i just want to say that it happened to me! :D

Well, if you believe it, nothing is impossible....esp when it comes to God...God says : BELIEVE.

And Yes, I Do Lord!

God says : DONT DOUBT anymore! I spoke and You shall listen.

And, Yes!! I won't doubt anymore. You spoke and I listen and obey!

:D

:D

Am dead tired now. I slept only at 3:30am and woke up this morning at 6:30am. What for? Study ler!! And I know you ppl will say "arts students need to study so hard wan meh?" Hmm.....Yes we do! Hahaha....

Thank U David for celebrating me birthday. It was a very very be-early birthday. The first to celebrate my bday eh! U privileged lar....my 21st bday leh...Hahaha.....But, again, THANK U!!

I got a bag too....:D

Met James on the way back.....craziness!! Coincidences eh?!

So, a whole day of studying oso....ahh....Wanna go rest for a while...later got BS.

Thank You Lord for being so vocal these days...
Thank You Lord for saying what You said this morning...
Thank You Lord for the time with Sarah this morning....
Thank You Lord for what happened in the afternoon....

Thank You Lord....

I pray that You will continue to be so vocal and verbal to not only me......but the people involved as well.....
And that we may continue to listen to You and do Your will!!! :D

Great no matter what! :D

My roommate destroyed the toilet door. That was how i was awaken. I was nicely sleeping and den she went into the toilet and it was so noisy coz she was having difficulty closing the door. And when i open my eyes, i saw the door ON her! Aiyoh....how on earth did the door came out? it's a sliding door. I have been living here longer than she has and i have not taken the door out of its place before. Talk about being gentle!! Haha....But i was too sleepy to wake up to put the door back. So, i mumbled to her "Just try to lock the door can edi. I will fix it back later." I didn't know the entire door came out! But, ok..she locked it and bathed and did her stuff...

When I woke up and saw the condition of it, all i can do was shake my head in disbelief.
So, I be the hero of the day and safe our lives by putting the door back. Man, the door is so heavy lor!!! ISSSHHhhhh....Haha....anyway, it's fixed now!!

Den I went downstairs to say my goodmornings and my hellos to the worship band and also to the household girls...In the end, we celebrated Jing Jing's birthday. We realised that she will be away on the Navigators staff retreat for 1 week and on a personal retreat the week after that. So, will not be seeing her for 2 weeks and will miss her bday! So, Gloria and PeiYun rushed out to get the cake while I just make sure she stays in the house and do not leave.

We played a trick on her. Haha....pretending as if they were celebrating my birthday! Haha....She was a bit embarrased but in the end, I'm quite sure she was happy that we celebrated her birthday. We had some time of sharing. ASking her what are her plans like...talk a bit....Then, after that we prayed for her.

I have trully been so blessed by God. You know, I find that with Lilian away, theres not many people I can find a place to confide in. I know many many people care and are interested in my life and knowing what are the things that i am facing and want to help me in my troubles. Too many people make me feel that they only want to care because they want to help me out of my troubles. They are not there to offer a listening ear and to comfort. Empahty?? I feel they just want to offer me a solution. I feel that many people just want to make sure that whatever I do, I am doing fine. There's no room for taking my time in getting out of it. I mean, of course I want to get out of it ASAP but sometimes when I get out of things too fast, I feel I'm forced to get out of it. I want to walk slowly with the Lord and let HIM take me out of whatever situation i am in a slower pace. I want to be able to absorb more. But i feel people rushing me too much. Other than Lilian, Jing Jing is the other person who makes me feel that she's interested in my life not because she wants to force me out of whatever situation i am in. But because she cares and sincerely cares. She offers a listening ear and a comfort. She shows me that she herself is human and she cannot help me but can only offer whatever she has gone through. If the problem that i am facing is something that she does not know what to do, she will ask me to refer to someone else and she will pray for me. Ya lor....She doesn't need to tell me she loves me (altho she has done so) but I know she does! It is through all her actions. Although it has been only a short while of getting to know her much better, but she has been an angel to me!! I really feel loved by her. Maybe I am too choosy, maybe I have too much expectations but I feel really loved by very few people and I treasure these people A LOT!!! And I truly thank the Lord for Jing Jing....

God has been good...No doubt about it!!!

I was just worshipping the Lord this morning with a song. And i shall share it with u!

The splendour of the King, clother in majesty,
Let all the earth rejoice, all the earth rejoice,
He wraps Himself in light, and darkness tries to hide,
And trembles at His voice, trembles at His voice.

How great is our God, sing with me,
How great is our God, all will see,
How great, how great is our God.

Age to age He stands, and time is in His hands,
Beginning and the end, beginning and the end.
The Godhead, three in one : Father, Spirit, Son,
The Lion and the Lamb,the Lion and the Lamb.

:D

Truly, God is great!!!

Thank You, again!!

Today I woke up just in time to go to school for my EL2101 tutorial. Dr. Ho Chee Lick!! He's such an interesting man. Really!! Formed my project group edi. I'm together with Delia. She's so pretty and sweet! :D

Went for my EL2102 lecture. Man, I hate phonetics!! I like Dr. Tara Mohanan. She's nice! But, I just can't stand lectures. Wah...can u imagine we have to define why certain words sound differently and what are the PRINCIPLES behind the way words sounds. Its crazy!! I almost fell asleep today because Janice was not around and Michelle. They two make me enjoy EL2102 more! At least we laugh at the way different ppl pronounce words differently! :D I donno what happened to Michelle but Janice told me she went to see the doc!! Wonder how is she doing?!

Had an interesting day!

Interesting because I wasn't feeling too happy.
I am often fasinated when i am unhappy but yet, throughout the day, I also experience things that make me happy.
Ok, i am confused. I donno whether i am happy or not.

I had a good time talking to Jocelyn today. I donno why but I told her the things that were in my mind. I guess, i felt a little unhappy today because there were lotsa thoughts in my mind but nowhere - no avenue to spit it out. That is not entirely true as well. I just realised today that I've been feeling like this for the past few days liao...But, somehow the comfort of knowing that it is all in the Lord's hands and knowing that God is in control brings joy to me. I know it sounds weird but really!! There is nothing that i am facing that is too big for the Lord to handle. There is nothing to difficult that the Lord can't do anything about. AND the best thing is that it's not only taken care of but I know that the Lord loves me and wants the best for me.

At times, yes....I have to admit it, I do feel a bit lost. I do feel that I have no one, no human, no physical being for me to dump all my feelings to. Not that I don't trust. I just feel I want to keep them for myself because no one really really cares. I know this is not entirely correct to say as well, but what can that person do for me if (s)he knows about what I am going through? Ok, you can pray for me! So, and I haven't deprived ppl of praying for me! But, I just like to go through things with the Lord personally! There are times when i wish i can speak to someone. But, no name comes to mind. I can only think of family and 2 very special friend back home. And there is someone else too. However, I somehow feel that I can't say anything! Hmmm...and because of that, it was very interesting that God put Jocelyn at the place she was at and made our paths to cross! It was indeed very comforting to hear again someone say to me, "You're not alone in this!" I basically dont hear this said to me anymore...

Yes, the Lord is working! There are a lot of things that I've been hearing. And i truly thank the Lord for being so real and so loving! Thank You for reaching out to me!! Thank you for understanding and speaking comfort and hope to me!

Like I said, it's normal to be unhappy when I face trials and suffering and pain. But, in all of it, I know that the Lord is speaking to me and I know that He cares!! I know He loves!! AND even through all these trials and suffering, I find JOY in them all!!! Because I know the Lord is good!!! :D No matter how tough the road may seem ahead of me, it CANNOT be so tough that i cannot ride on them. The Lord will help me drive through it. There will come times when my tyre will be punctured!! But, I am not worried. I've got to pump air into my tyres!!!

Haha...funny analogy but yes!! I know the Lords with me and He loves me and He only wants the best for me. And i have complete faith and trust that HE wants that for each and every of his Child!! So, take courage and comfort in knowing that the Lord will not leave you alone!! :D

Thank You!

I am so extremely tired.

I am emotionally not very happy.

I am thinking.

I am Spiritually high.

I know that all is well....

But i have things to think about, things to pray about, things to cry about, things to smile about....

In everything, give thanks!!!

I do....

Thank You Lord...
Even tho i may be sad but its not something that can take me away from you!!
Even tho there are challenges, I know I will experience You in a spectacular way!!

I look forward to seeing you SHINE in me!!!

Thank You lord for giving me this privilege.
I love You!!!

Good day!!

Don't you think that my past few posts (including this one) has been all nice and happy posts?

Things or circumstances have not changed a lot. It might have slighty. But, it's nothing that is big and major enuff to make me SMILE. But, I really really know that God is good and He has been beside me these few days and I just can't deny His presence. He has just been there for me! And for His presence and for making it KNOWN. It has been awesome!!

Ask me if i had a good day, I can't say No!! It has been - how can it not be when i spend my days knowing that God is with me all the way? Yes, trials and suffering come my way (and even slight depression) but can i deny that God is good? Can i deny that God is with me? NO!!! I definitely can't!!!

Today again, it has been a good day.

But, I have no idea why I am feeling the way i am now - not-very-happy.

I came home seeing someone in the house in tears. I asked with care and concern "What's wrong?" She tried real hard to tell me but because of the hurt that has just scar her, she just can't come to say what happened. I said sorry. I dowan to be poking my hands and head into everyone's life. But I care! Bev persistently asked her while i just sit there and do nothing about it. I don't want to force her to tell. I mean, if she is crying and if she feels real bad about it, maybe she just wants to cry it all out but might not be too comfortable sharing. So, i didnt want to bug her! I thought I wouldn't like ppl to bug me when i'm hurting and crying. Maybe later but not when i'm crying. So, I didn't do anything. In the end, she spoke to Bev about her situation. I felt, ahh...do i not care enuff? hmm...i donno. Maybe i might have appeared to her as if I didnt care. I'm sorry if i did that. I care. Lots. I just thought u might want your space.

Went to change my train ticket to go home. I will leave after encounter weekend on the 19th. Will spend my birthday at home. My 21st birthday. Aih.....I get all crazy over other ppl's birthday. For my own, i dont even think its worth celebrating!! I want to celebrate it here wit my Singaporean friends too, but I dont think anyone would remember. Except prolly Bev - that's cause she's my mentor. But other than that, i think the rest prolly can remember because i've been making so much noise about it. Aih!!! I am such a nusance!!

I don't like the way you touch me. I know you're gentle and all that but I'm not a very touchy person. I don't like to be touched. I am being a nusance again!

Sorry Grace. I didn't mean to be so cold. I was having a lot of things in my mind. I just can't think straight. I am so sorry!!!

I know ppl get it bad from me. Because I am normally so noisy and to see me quiet is weird and I am sorry.

I guess, I'd be lying if i said u had nothing to do with how i am feeling. You know what I want. If you think I'm not giving it to you and if you once think that I cant accept what you have to offer because of "political" reasons, then even now when I have taken off that perception and want to be what you say you are to me, you are not making it easy for me. You know how it feels when you want to give but the other party does not reciprocate? That's exactly how i am feeling now. I don't know why but it hurts...I know its gender differences. Aih....it hurts...OOuccHH! At the same time, I dowan to be a burden to you. So, it's alrite la...let it be....God will settle everything! :D

I feel I haven't been faithful! Aaahhh......Sorry Lord!!

O my Lord, Thank U

I can't thank You enuff for what happened today.

It wasn't anything spectacular.
But i am thankful...
Thankful to the max!!!

You helped me in order that i am able to perform better in my studies...hehe...

You answered my prayer INSTANTLY.
Wow, that was like instant noodle. Haha
It was nice!!
I even thank YOU for opening up my eyes to see the answer.
Thank you Lord...
Thank you Lord...

It may not necessarily mean easier journey but once You have affirmed me with Your word, I know that whatever difficulty i face, I can be rest assured knowing that U have spoken of Your plan!! And those words comfort me even in my not-so-happy days....

Thank U Lord....
It means soooo much to me!!!

:D

ALL things New

You spoke and made the sunrise, to light up the very first day
You breathed across the water, and started the very first wave
It was You
You intoduced Your glory, to every living creature on earth
And they started singing, the first song to ever be heard
They sang for You

You make all things new
You make all things new

Then the world was broken, fallen and battered and scarred
You took the hopeless, the life, wasted, ruined and marred
And made it new

You make all things new
You make all things new
You redeem and You transform
You renew and You restore
You make all things new
You make all things new
And forever we will watch and worship You

You turn winter into spring
You take every living thing
And You breathe Your breath of life into it over and over again

You made the sunrise, day after day after day
But there's a morning coming, when old things will all pass away
And everyone will see

You make all things new
You make all things new
Come redeem and come transform
Come renew and come restore
You make all things new
You make all things new
And forever we will watch and worship You

Now and forever You are making all things new
You're making all things new

Hallelujah...

All things New - by Steven Curtis Chapman....

Jon, thanks for reminding me of this song! :D

He redeems and transforms....
In HIM we have hope....

At times, i feel that certain situations can be quite hopeless. Sometimes i even see myself as a hopeless case. I know its not true and i know it is wrong to think that way and i know at times when those thoughts have come to mind, I've hurt God unintentionally!!!

I've been reminded to deny myself and carry the cross daily!! DIE TO SELF!!!! Die to fleshly desires...die die die.....Only God can redeem these and transforms it into something beautiful that i can offer to HIM!!!!

All things new....
When things seem hopeless
When things seem impossible
When things seem NO WAY

God can turn it all the other way!!! :D

Late

It's late and i'm just posting for the sake of posting. Ahh!!!

Today was definitely a restful day. Enjoyed sunday worship a lot!! Came home and slept like a pig!!! manage to do the things that i wanted to do though. Now, i'm wondering what i will do tmr?? I seem to have nothing else to do. Hah!!! Wow!!!

Should i stay in school tmr or should i come home? Hmm...i have no idea leh...mebbe i should make an appointment to meet up with my contacts as well....Or mebbe i should be a good girl and study?? And bear in mind, when i say study means studying for something that the lecturer havent even taught leh. Wah...so good?? heheheh

Anyway....like i said, church was good today...but, Rhoda was missing. I wonder where she went. Better sms her later....

I finally compiled the time tables of the year ones....

gotta meet up for BS.

I need to meet up with Felicia as well....

Gloria mite not join us anymore. Oppss...means less one helper....

I've gotta make birthday cards as well....

hehehe......

I miss my daddy!!!

I'm starting to blog like as if i can only make 1 sentence!!

OK lar....i've gotta go liao...it's getting late and i wanna go to bed so that tmr i wont be so dead.

I wish i'd see someone tmr.... ;p

Who's face?

Tis morning was good. We had spp and as usual, SPP are alwiz good. For those who don't know, SPP = Slumber Party and Prayer. Where we stay overnight at someone's house and wake up and about 9am we start of praying and den have our own ETWG (Extended Time with God). So, we had that this morning. Felicia stayed over in our (mine and Bev) room. Julia came over this morning.

Last nite, after blogging i wanted to go to bed already. But, my msn pop-up and there were ppl wanting to talk to me!! Haha....So, i talked a bit but as usual, i never JUST chat and do nothing else, i was looking through some people's blog and found myself saying : aiyoh, so boring. Better do something more productive. If not, i'll not chat and go to sleep edi. So, i prayed and spent some time thinking as well. Well, God works through our mind too rite?!

Anyway, 2 question came to mind :

(1) Do I love the Lord??
(2) Do i fear the Lord??

I couldn't find the answer then. It was weird to be asking question 1 because i've alwiz thought that i love HIM very much. So since i can't answer the question, i told myself to leave it for tmr.

So, this morning came and during ETWG, that was the question that i asked the Lord.

The answer that i got from the Lord was very very, tremendouly encouraging!! He assured me that I love HIM - altho no one (at least i think so) has said that i am someone who loves the Lord- but He assured me that i do! And that, I do not need to be like some people. You know, sometimes when people are up front doing things for the Lord or some stuffs, it easier to see that they love the Lord but for those who not so up-front (like me), I find that its difficult to hear ppl say to you "You love the Lord". But, GOD told me that He has given each of us different capacity in our love for Him. I'm no missionary. I'm not the out-spoken one. Sharing testimony oso super shy and soft. Haha...But, the Lord told me, I like the way you love me. The more personal one!!! hehe....it's nice to know God likes the way i love Him.

Sometimes we love ppl and we show our love to that person in ways we want but that person mite not like the way we express our love.

So, i was very encouraged that God said He likes the way i Love Him. I'm not perfect so to say i love Him perfectly and that He is completely pleased with me (the way He was pleased with Jesus Christ) is appalling!!! But, that was very encouraging.

God didnt tell me anything bout my fearing the Lord tho. But the thought came to mind, can I love the Lord without fearing Him?? This is a question to all you out there who reads...Please help me answer this question. Please let me know!!! ;D

But i have no idea why, we (me, jing and Huiyue) started to talk about future life-partners. And HuiYue suddenly turn to me and ask : " you leh, JeeLee? Got anyone in mind anot?" wah...Suddenly shoot me lidat!!! It's interesting because someone asked me (almost) the same question yesterday. haha....

AAANNYYWWAAYY.....

I've gotta go back to studying liao....

(singing) When it's all been said and done,
There is just one thing that matters,
Did i do my best to live for truth?
Did i life my life for You?

Cherios~~

Friday Rally

Today has been a good day!

I slept late last nite. Slept only at 4am plus i think...was studying for my quiz today. The quiz went alrite. I couldn't figure out one word tho at first. It was phonetics and the transcribtion of how the word is pronunced was given and we're suppose to write out what word it is and differentiate the number of syllables in the word summore. Wah, if you see all those phonetics symbols, can go gila. Haha...

It rained the whole day today! Ish....

But rain is good.... :D

Had a good time of prayer too.....with Cuong, James and Julia....prayed for the rally and for new contacts...

Went and have lunch in the arts canteen with Cuong...Met Adrian, Adeline, Fern, Yuen, Hannah, all the vcf ppl....even invited me to go down for their "shut up" talk. Anyone wanna go? It's evangelistical!!! Prepared for my testimonial then. Was suppose to prepare last nite but was too tired to do it. So, i did it only today. Was suppose to study today but nvm..another day.

Rally was good!!! It alwiz amazes me to see how God uses us all in different ways and speaks to us so personally that all the things that happens flows so well....

Ice-breaker was fun!!! I had fun!!! word "love" appeared.

Worship was good.....God is good...I've got the peace that passeth understanding...If He carried the weight of the world upon His shoulders, I know my Brother that He will carry you....ALL the songs that shows God's power and God's mercy and grace!! God's love....

Testimonial was a good time of just sharing how God has been so real in our lives...how God deals with small tiny and yet important things...how God is so powerful yet He cares for EVERYTHING in our lives!! He is definitely a great God!!!

Speaker was soooo good!!! Humble, funny and yet straight to the point!!! Wow.....good one!! Presentation of it all was very good!!! :D

Basically, everything flowed (what is the past of flow?) well. ALL praise and glory be to God!! Summore we plan super last minute...only met up last nite. ONE day before the rally!!

We had a very good MC!! Kept with timing and all!!! Wahh...good!!! :D

Ahh....better sleep early coz we're gonna have spp tmr...wanna spend good time with the LORD tmr!! :D

Good nite peeps....

God loves ya!!!

:D

Finishing

I met James today and was telling Him the reason behind my going back home during the weekend. I know not many people know i was going home what more the reason behind it.

Just wanna feel you in, fellow bloggers, who don't know why i was back in KL during the weekend. Don't feel left-out, because even my parents and family didnt know the reason i was back home. My parents only found out on Monday night.

Here goes the story.

For about three weeks, the Lord has put a burden in my heart concerning my family. Not knowing what was the specific thing i was burdened with and thinking that it was normal missing home, i brushed those feelings aside. UNTIL spp. If you read other posts, i think i mentioned something about SPP.

So, i went to the Singapore Botanical Garden and telling the Lord, ok SPEAK. I want to listen. But, first...why the unsettling feeling in me?? Slowly He revealed that i am still burdened over my family. So, i took the opportunity to seek God concerning my family. It was good time spent with the Lord because He really searched me and revealed those things to me and it was definitely painful and i cried!!

As i spent the time with HIM, He brought me through the process of looking back to my childhood. How was i brought up, the words that were used, the things that hurt me, the things that made me cry, the things that make me who i am today, the things that still has a hold on me now, the things that make me feel SO lowly of myself. For those who don't already know, I think I seem to portray a confident person to many people - mainly because i'm loud and i speak my mind. But, to those who know me inside out, you would know that i actually have a very low self-esteem. And so, i was looking back and seeing the cause of it. It's not in the genes. It doesnt just come like that. Something happened and i was interested in knowing what. So, as i went with the Lord back to childhood, it was hurting....because throughout the process, those hurtful words were spoken and heard, it was painful!! But, at the end of it, the Lord clearly spoke to me. I NEED to go home. So, i said " Ok Lord. I'll go back during the mid-term break"...and on and on i went trying to negotiate a time to go back - a later time. I guess, the Lord knew best and He said "NO. Go back this weekend." I prayed about it a few times and on Tuesday or Wednesday, i decided to go back that weekend itself. In my prayers, i asked the Lord "what you want me to speak O Lord, what do You want to achieve?" And these words : I want you to go back so that you may be heal of the hurts and you may be set free. So that the devil have no hold in telling you lies about yourself anymore. I want you to DENY yourself. I want you to tell your parents how you feel towards them. Your father is putting the blame onto himself. I want you to go back to free him - to forgive him." So, i said, OK LORD!!

On friday nite, (the day before i left for KL) i was at our Navigators rally and somehow i was strucked with fear. I was so fearful. I didn't want to go home. I know my going home is a mission and i didn't want to do it. No one noticed but i almost cried in the function room. I was so afraid.

I came home and Bev asked whether she can pray for me. I turn and said "NO." I was afraid and i can't even pray!! Jing came after awhile and spoke to me about the happenings and how i was feeling and she warned me that the devil will use people to stop me from speaking to my parents (if that was really God's will)...we prayed HARD.

I left on Sat morning with JieYao....Reached home and the first thing i hear is that JeeAun has foot and mouth disease. My heart broke!! There were other resistance as well....JeeLeng getting knocked by a car. But, thank God, she's alrite and JeeAUn is better now as well. More importantly, i manage to accomplish the mission that the Lord sent me to do.

I spoke to my parents and their hearts were open to receive and accept what i have to say and also we said our sorries and apologised and forgave each other for all that has happened. They are not perfect and neither am i and of course i do not demand perfection from them. I thank God for them - for blessing me with godly parents, for them who love me despite my weaknesses. ANd my dad confirmed what the Spirit said to me concerning my dad and me! ANd it was great!! To hear from the Lord and to accept the forgiveness He has given to us!!!

All in all, it was a very blessed and fruitful time back home.

I love my parents very very very much....

and i pray that we will together as a family grow in our walk with the Lord and allowing HIm to heal our hurts in the past!!!

I thank God very very very much......for all that HE has blessed me with - things that i dont even deserve!! :D