Thursday, August 31, 2006

Still sick. Nevertheless, Happy MERDEKA!!

I am not only sick, I have conjunctivitis! (okay, I have not seen the doctor but from my consultation of SN David Khoo and reading up on it, I am quite certain) So, don’t shake my hand!! But more than that, pray for me. Coz it’s painful! And my eye is swollen. So, I look worse than a panda. Sigh. *cry cry*

And I’ve been spending many late nights trying to catch up on school work.

Have I mentioned anything about my roommate? She’s awesome! Jie Yao says I better not bully her. But, I’m so nice too wat! Her name is Jia Ying. She’s doing her masters now in NUS. I remember one day a few months ago when Lilian asked me about a possible roommate, and feeling it should be Jia Ying, I suggested her. True enough, she’s here! At first I was worried that language could be a barrier but it’s not. In fact, language is not a barrier at all. We care for one another. We encourage one another. We accommodate one another. We’re doing great!! I’m so happy to have her as my roomie!! She’s awesome! We spend every night talking about our day and just sharing….great times! Thank You God!!!

Okay. And I’m so happy because I bought myself a pair of earrings. I haven’t bought any earrings for myself since the month of May okay! And it’s so nice la. At least I think it is. And then, I bought one for Ade too! And I passed it to her today and she put it on. Oh goodness, it looked so good on her!!! So happy!!!!

Okay people, Selamat Hari Merdeka!!! Our beloved country is 49 years old!

I wanted to dress up today – ok, more like colour coordinate. I wanted to wear a yellow shirt, a blue berms, a red and white sock OR a red shirt (with white wordings) and a blue pants with red socks OR a red shirt, a white 3-quarts, and a yellow and blue socks.

But, I woke up late this morning and I had to rush to the library to return the RBR book. So, I didn’t had time to colour coordinate, which was quite sad but it’s okay!

Happy 49 years old, Malaysia!!!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Sick!

Today as I was borrowing a book, guess who I saw? I saw Dr. Lazar. She remembers me!! (Ade says I’m easy to remember. What does that mean?) So, we talked as if we were friends instead of lecturer-student. She asked me how am I and what modules I am taking and she also asked for feedback for the media module. Haha…. And Ade, Mich and Adrian, you’d be happy to know that I explained to her why we handed our project the way it was. Since she didn’t give us a chance to explain ourselves last sem rite?! Argh. Too bad nothing can be done about it but it’s okay. It’s good to have nice chats with lecturers. I seldom get that. But, it’s fun! Except that most Singaporean EL lecturers are pretty short. I am taller than Dr.Lazar la! It was so funny talking to her like that. I had to hunch a bit more so that I don’t feel like I’m talking down to her. Oh my! unbelievable that Jee Lee can be taller than some people rite?
Oh, I miss Dr. Peter Tan!!! He’s so extraordinarily fun!!!

Thanks to edgar, I am now starting to crave for food. Oh my. Let’s see….I want the best porridge!! Porridge is the last thing I would crave when I’m sick,but this time, strangely enough, I do. And I think it goes to show that I am really sick! My! Mother, I’m sick!! Come and cook for me la… I need good home cook food. And I like to be kicked out of bed to eat. (except medicine!!) I like it when the whole family have to eat what a sick person eats. Haha… I like the special attention I get from my family when I’m sick. Family, where are you???!!!!!

Okay. I should sleep early.

Goodnight friends….

Monday, August 28, 2006

I struggle, but God is waaay too good!!

Today, I received an sms that goes like this :

Received: Hey girl, I didn’t see you today in class. Are you okay? God loves you.
Sent: Hey! I was in class. I sat a few rows behind you. *smile* Thanks for caring. I’m fine. *smile*
Received: Oh, I must have overlooked. Have a pleasant day and may God watch over you.
Sent: Yeah. You rest well too. *smile* God bless you and keep you. *smile* Have a good night rest. *smile* (at this juncture, I admit, I put on too much smiley faces in sms-es)
Received: Hmm…you are always so jovial…How is that? I wish I could be as happy as you…

WOAh!!! I didn’t expect that last received sms at all. I mean, where did that come from?

And this is definitely not the first time I’m receiving something like this. How my jovialness makes it easy for people to approach me. God, thank you! I believe that I have actually been more sober and less jovial in the past 5 years (ever since the break-up). I learnt to be more serious and less crazy. And somehow, that made me less jovial. I used to be so extra jovial that one look or interaction with me, people will make comments like : You a very jolly person! And I have believed that that is gone. Although I know that I do not laugh or smile as much as I used to, God is still using that smile and laughter that He has given me. And I thank God because a few months ago, I specifically prayed that God do not take away a very treasured gift He gave me – the gift of making people feeling comfortable with me. And today, He has proven again! that He has not taken the gift away! Thank YOU LORD!!!!

Today Jeremy shared his struggle. And I identified so much with him! This time around, yes, I struggle like a mad woman. My feelings go around like a roller-coaster. I have headaches. I have sleepless nights. I want to sulk. I want to cry. But you know, God still pursues me, and more than ever, I feel God’s love, and grace and faithfulness. I feel so much joy! Yes, joy in suffering!!!! I find it strange but it is such a refreshing experience!!!!

Even when Jeremy shared, I felt like going up to him and give him a hug and say “I know what it’s like…” but refrained myself of course. But right at that time, I wished to hug someone and cry my heart out. God, send me someone whom I will be comfortable enough with to cry my heart out!

I do not want to make it sound like I’m doing all great. I am struggling. But, in the midst of my struggle, God is so good!!! SOOO good! I’ve never struggled with sooooo much joy and love before! Keep me in prayers but thank God together with me okay! He has been so gracious and faithful.

ps: As I look at my previous post, i realised how sad it is. It is not. I was sad but more than that, God was encouraging me. so, i was not really sad. Just struggling. I am okaay.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Forgive me....

I have 20 pages of a reading to finish by tonight. But I have too many thoughts flooding in my mind and heart that I need to write.

Feeling totally strangled with the things of the heart. I do not know what to do. I do not know how to think or how to feel. Why is it that I cannot tell my heart what to feel? Why is it that emotions are not rational? Why is it that it can't act logically? Why? Why is it that my actions betray my heart? Why is it that my emotions betray my mind? Why? Oh God, there are just so many things that I do not understand.

My heart wants to react in a certain way but my mind tells me NO. Argh.

Ade's entry on UDS really struck a chord in me mainly because it was the same song. It was the same thoughts. Same.

Again and again, God is trying so hard to encourage me. I get encouraged - and it lasts for a few good hours. And then, I'm down again. God must be thinking 'Why is this Jee Lee taking such a long time to learn?! Why?!' I must be making Him so frustrated. I must be. Oh no!!! I'm so sorry Lord. Sooooooooo sorry!!!

Jing's entry struck me. She quoted Hebrews 12:1-3.

God, forgive me. I am sinful. I am weak. I do not see how whatever I do can be glorifying to You. Sorry. But God, change me! Use me! Fill me! Mould me! I want to glorify YOU above everything! Above everything!! I cry my heart out in wanting to see YOU.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Thank You, Lord!!!!

God, you are ever so great! So awesome!!!

You know how tired I am yet you gave me strength to do what was needed to do.
You know how desperately I've been wanting to hear from Weng Yan and she emailed.
You know how even more desperately I've been wanting to hear from family and today mommy called!
You know how much I needed encouragement and you sent Stephanie!!

Thank YOU Lord!!! Thank YOU!!!!

Even at the down-est point of life, I see how much you care, how much you love, how much you pursue me, oh God, I can never thank You enough. Thank you God. Thank you!!! I thank you for giving me extra portion of grace so that I can show grace to others. I thank You that even when I'm down and I feel I can't walk anymore, You still use me. I can't believe it Lord. I can't believe it Lord!!! Thank You!!! And not just using me but a step further, you encouraged me. Oh God, You are sooooo good!

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Truth....

Let me come out with the truth right now. The reason behind my periodic and random blog post is that I am now going through some issues that I would not like to publicly mention but it burns within me. Be rest assured, I am not running away from the matter – I’m courageously facing it. I just feel that it’ll be wise to not tell the whole wide world. So, I’m keeping it to very very very special people. Just because I don’t tell you doesn’t mean I don’t trust you, just try to understand that even for me to not run away from this issue is already a huge thing, what more talking to people about it. Many of you are very important to me and are even the people whom i'd confide in. But this is something I can't bring myself to talk about. I've approached one friend to talk about it. Another friend approached me to talk about it. So, that's 2 for now. When things are a little bit clearer, I might inform others as well - because I love you and I want you to know.

Now, that explains why I blog about food and what not right? Things that you know don’t matter that much to me. I mean, there are things that are fun and nice to remember but each time when I blog, there is an issue that is burning within me that I so want to blurt out but I have to practice a lot of self-control to keep it within. Hence I try not to blog as frequent.

This is just to update you guys back home. I’ve not grown to be erm, in the words of Josh, “simple”….some of you’d know what I’m talking about la.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

A cry to write...

Time for an update again.

There are tonnes and tonnes of school work to do – to the extent that I am a little afraid – although I must say that my modules have been extremely interesting. Right now, I am so tired that I can’t think straight. So I don’t know if I’ll write coherently. Hah!

Today…Discipling the nations conference. Inspiring speakers and message I must say! And depend on Roy Tan to teach about discipleship! There’s just something about that man that attracts me and gains my respect! A very humble, gentle and godly man is he. And the funny thing was that the SENDers were suppose to help Roy Tan out. So, we were divided into small little groups to go under the SENDers. Guess who I was sent to? HUI YUE!!! The best part is this: yesterday, when I came home, Hui Yue told me to look at her preparation for the workshop and asked me to help correct her grammar and make things a little clearer. So, she explained a bit to me, and I read through the thing already. And we were just saying yesterday, “it’ll be funny if I get to her workshop” and I did! Joker la!! I learnt a lot from the workshop!!!

Well, in short, I was challenged, very challenged!! So, good conference!!

Mother, why aren’t you replying my mails? Must be busy with OA camp rite? After the camp, must write to me okay! I miss you all sooo much. While having dinner today, I got emotional and almost cried but hold back la! I miss home!

I’ve been thinking about Teenstreet Malaysia 2006 and I think I’m deciding not to go. I can pray harder but I am more a less decided on it already. I have been praying la. I really want to go back to Teenstreet Malaysia 2006 – be it as Coach or as Service Team Member. I hesitate to be Coach because I know I cannot afford the post-Teenstreet commitment to follow-up these kids. So, naturally, Service Team would be the best. To those going as Coaches, Teenstreet don’t expect any post-teenstreet commitments but I pray that your love for these kids and your desire to see them grow would make obliged to be creative and diligent in following-up with them. May God bless Teenstreet and it’s work.

I really want to just cry and let it all out but I can’t. Man, the feeling of tears stuck in your throat, chocking you is probably the worst of all feeling…….

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Life's simple cravings...

Food.....

On Saturday, I realised that I haven't had fishballs for a very long time and I miss eating them. So, I had a bowl of fishball noodles on Saturday, Sunday, Monday and today I had laksa in with fishballs in them! But the thing about fishballs is that they must be fresh! Today's fishballs weren't very fresh - so, it was yucky! Urgh!!!

Other than fishballs, I have been craving for (in order of importance): Siew Yuk, chicken rice, and chocolates.

Ahh....food cravings!!!! aaahhhh......Now, i'm dreaming of siew yuk and char siew with yau fan. And a whole packet of 50 small and fresh fishballs so that I can steam them and slowly eat them. Oh my!

This is all thanks to dear Yee Weng Soon for showing this to me:




Arrrggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!

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I love my major! I love English Language!!!

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Stories...

I just put shampoo onto my body!!! I am extremely amazed at how blur I can be at times. I nicely “soaped” myself with shampoo la! I didn’t realise it until, routinely, I had to soap myself with shower gel. OH gosh! What was I doing? Does anyone make that same mistake in the showers? And then, I had to take a look at how I look today and guess what? Totally ghotic! My dark eye rings are as big as a twenty or fifty cent coin! Die la like that!

Should I attempt at a more serious post? Ahh, seriousness takes too much effort.

A few weeks ago when I learned that Sheila Majid was going to be performing her “Lagenda” concert in Singapore, I was extremely delighted. No funny kind of image. Got married and build family. Though popular and successful, she portrayed to me a woman who knows what she wants and never loses sight of it. I mean, how many musicians/artists you know these days give up building family for the sake of career? But, she knows family is important, she builds that. Come on la, she features her kids in her mtv, advertisement. Her apprentice, Amy Mastura, is like that too. I love these women! How apt it is that I read this today:

"Many leaders in our homes, corporations, and churches are more concerned with their goals than with their offspring."

It's always good to see there are people who do not fall into this sad category. Now that I’ve justified why I was so delighted to know that Sheila Majid is coming to Singapore, I can go ahead to now tell you that I was super disappointed that I missed the concert. No, I didn’t even get the tickets. I had in mind to ask David to go along. How else to enjoy a concert if not to bring a fellow friend who enjoys and appreciate music as much rite? Aih. I forgot to ask him and he’s now back in KL. Aih. Nvm la. I hope to one day catch Sheila Majid in concert.

Oh….let me tell you how excited I am that this new semester is starting.

My core modules are: Phonetics & Phonology ; Literary Stylistics ; Critical Discourse Analysis ; Semantics & Pragmatics. How does it sound to you? Phonetics & Phonology sounds totally boring rite? Yeah. Adrian says that Literary Stylistics and CDA is interesting. It sounds interesting too. I look forward to it. I don’t think Semantics & Pragmatics would be as boring as Phonetics & Phonology but also not as interesting as Literary Stylistics and CDA. But you know, I’ve never been more excited about my English modules than this semester la.

Then, there’s that one more module that I need to take. You’ve read about my very exciting experience about choosing that module here. Let me put that whole experience in more coherent way. So, on Tuesday, I got very panicky over module bidding mainly because there was no interesting module to take and I had no company to take interesting modules with. God then calmed me down and promised He will provide. So I had nothing to worry about. Within the next 30 minutes, Ade came online and after talking to her a little, she and I agreed to take a module together. And it’s super duper interesting la. It’s called introduction to media writing and it teaches us how to write when in different media setting. It’s so cool la. It’s been something that I’ve been interested in such a looooong time. The best part is this, I didn’t even knew this module existed. And this whole idea of writing came became a passion a long time ago but during the holidays, God showed me how I can improve my writing skills. So, it’s amazing! At that time, I really believed that God was the one who planted this desire, then the desire to improve my writing, then sending Ade to introduce this module to me. And I was so happy that neither the exams nor timetable clashed with any of my core modules! So, round 1C came and I was so elated when I typed my matric number and password, thinking “Sure can get the module la. God given what” But, when I wanted to bid, to my greatest disappointment, there were only TWO vacancies! Why would anyone be so dumb to give out only 2 vacancies? Oh my gosh. And the next min bid was waaay above all that I can offer. So, I knew for sure that I definitely cannot bid for that module. Devastated and panicky, I didn’t sit still and ask God but instead went ahead inquiring of more modules and even contemplating modules that I weren’t interested in. I can manage, it was a little interesting but I knew that Introduction to media writing was just perfect for me! Got my contingency plan out and prayed even harder! “Lord, I believed that you were behind my finding out of that media module. Why is this now happening? Lord, what shall I do now? Drop that module and bid for others that I’m not sooo interested in? Or what? How Lord?” Then God impressed upon my heart to wait for the next round. I shouldn’t do anything this round. Don’t give up yet. So, although I had my contingency plan, I didn’t execute it. I thought, okay, God said wait. So, wait I shall! A few days later, round 2A started and when I logged in, I was so happy to see that there were 6 vacancies opened and 11 bidders….hmmm, I felt I shouldn’t bid first, since close bidding only starts 3 days later. So, I waited till the last day and prayed even harder that I will be able to get that module, if God’s will is for that! 10th August 2006 came and I almost forgot to log in to CORS to bid. 10 minutes before close bidding started, I manage to log in and saw that the number of bidders have dropped to 9. okay cool! And the next min bid was 1660. I have 2403 in my programme account. Means I have a high chance of getting the module! At the end of it, not only I got it, Ade got it too!!!!! Wah, so happy la!!!

Thank You Lord!! thank You Lord!!!

I had a good time just catching up with Jeremy today. It’s been a while since we’ve sat down and have a good chat! Maybe the last time we sat down and talked about ourselves was about one year ago. Many times when we sit down, we’d talk about others more than we’d talk about ourselves. So, sitting down today and just talking was a very very good thing! We both then headed down to Suntec to meet ronglong and again, I offered fashion advice to Jeremy when he was buying shoes. Ronglong and I then headed to McD for ice-cream. But, alas, no ice-cream!! Then, it was time to meet my aunt and he had to go home. So, we sort of parted. I was a little afraid that after all the things that were said on Thursday, that somehow, it will all backfire on us and the relationship turns even more sour. But, I was glad that today, as we met up, talked rubbish, shared, laughed, and all that, it was back to where it was before any conflicts started, when it was all goody! Hopefully, slowly it will turn better than it was before even!! Yeah!! I’ve been thru reconciliations before to know that relationships can turn very much better than it was before. I’m just hoping for the best this time round! Yeap! God, be in this friendship!!

Okay. Long post. How was my attempt at a serious post? Hehe….

Saturday, August 12, 2006

KAU-lah segalanya untukku!

Okay…updates!

Singapore celebrated her 41st National Day on Tuesday. The NUS Navigators held a picnic at Marina South. Each GC (like a cell group) had to prepare food for the event. I called my mother a few days ago to get some idea of what might be easy, not too time consuming to prepare for, malay dish. I thought of making rendang, either beef or chicken, but I knew that cooking time for that dish is quite long. So, mother suggested I make Ayam Masak Merah. She passed me the recipe, and gave me the instructions. And oh well, I’m like my mother, I make people guinea pigs who gets to try my first hand on a particular dish. And in anycase, it always turns out good. I’ve got my mother’s gift of cooking! Haha….So, Ayam Masak Merah looked extra red but not spicy at all. One of the problems my mother and I have when cooking a spicy dish is that we must always bear in mind not to cook something too spicy because if we go according to our taste buds, a spicy dish (for us) might turn out to be too spicy for some others. So, bearing in mind that, I made it not spicy at all – all that was there, was the redness. I mean, it’s not called Ayam masak merah for nothing right? Haha..

Ahhh….cooking brings me joy! Especially when you know people enjoyed it. Yeap.

And oh, I so need a novel or something. I wished I brought back my novels. But oh well, I’ll make do with what I have now. Superman prequels comic books (which I’ve already finished) and a book by John Bevere entitled Bait of Satan. Hmm…I need a John Grisham or an Anne Tyler with me. ahh…..oh well.

Maybe I should start hunting for Ruth Sahanaya’s albums. She rocks la! Times like this call for a boyfriend!!! Hahaha…kidding!!!!

Lectures will start in the coming week. On one hand, I can’t wait to go for classes and meet people and see what interesting things come out of a semester. On the other hand, I hate routines! And I’m taking 2 ELang modules which are erm, a little dry and boring. It’s something that I want to get out of a university education. If not, why major in English?! But, it’s so boring, I can fall asleep. Well, lets hope that somehow, lecturers will turn these boring subjects to something super interesting! Yay!

Lord, there’s just so much sin in me, and I’m so weak. I need You so much!!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Lists...

I proudly announce that I can cook Chilli Crab!!! Erm, but still don’t know how to clean crabs. Haha… Miss out on that part. Well, still, I can cook it now! Bleah. Cooking another dish tomorrow as the Nus Nav will be holding an event to celebrate Singapore’s National Day. So, I’m cooking! Woke up late today and was so scared that the morning market would be close. Well, it’s strange that markets in Singapore closes pretty late. I remember whenever I need to go to the market, I’ve gotta get up bout 7-ish if not, don’t need to think about getting anything from the market. But in Singapore, even at 10-ish, there are still lotsa things in the market. And it’s so funny going to a market with no live animals. Of course, because of this, their markets are sooo much cleaner la. Good! Oh, and Hui Yue just expressed her desire to learn how to cook Ayam masak merah! That’s good. Haha….I’m sure she was very happy to learn that the dish is fairly easy to make. hehe

Must remember to call up my Street-e and Matric contacts to ask them whether they coming for tomorrow’s event.

Ok…now, I need your help dear friends!!!

You see, my friend suggested that I should come up with a birthday wish-list. Okay, I know my birthday is more than a month away. Hah. That’s besides the point. The point is: Should I or should I not come up with a birthday wish-list?

Pro: Avoid getting birthday presents that I already have or am not interested in or worse, something that I don’t like!

Con: Your friends get it easy by not thinking of what to get you. There is no need to put in effort to think about it. Getting a birthday gifts then becomes so meaningless. It’s just getting a present for the sake of a birthday. I would much appreciate it when people think about it and not give a no-brainer-kinda-gift.

In fact, I don’t mind not receiving any gifts – just give me your time and your sincere birthday wishes (even if it is late. But of course, you have to sound like you’re really VERY sorry that you forgot my birthday!). So, birthday gifts are secondary. Receiving something is a plus point but that’s just an additional to the time you give me and your sincere birthday wishes!

And you know, getting birthday gifts are so special. It’s about showing that person you treasure the friendship and that you care, care enough to remember that person’s birthday and wish them and get a birthday pressie. That’s why giving my friends the easy way out by having a birthday wish-list is so difficult for me. So, dilemma!

Friends, what do you have to say???

Sunday, August 06, 2006

I kept my word...

I’ve watched Lake House starring Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock! So jiwang (emo) man!!! I liked it!! I was well prepared to not let it affect me too much. Before I went in for the movie, I prayed “I know I can be very emotional watching the show. So, Lord, protect my heart.” I know God says to “flee all temptations” but at the point of watching the show, I didn’t think it was a temptation so I didn’t flee so all I did was prepare myself even before I went for the show and prayed real hard when I confirmed with Fun that I’ll watch it with her. It doesn’t make sense to watch it with a guy since I’ve no boyfriend. And no one is free to watch movies now. So, me and Fun watched it together! Haha…

Two lines:

Life would be senseless without music. (haha....how true. God created music mar!)
Let me let you go... (oh true true...)

After movie, we went shopping!! Haha….A bit worry and stressed over some things, so shopping was definitely a way of releasing stress! And I met Wern Hui and her bf. It’s so nice to see her again. Haha….

Oh, Shel, can you recall the price of Converse shoes in the Uptown shop??? I saw a similar shop today. And the purple shoe we all went crazy over was selling at SGD19. I was wondering if that was cheap. And of course I saw a pair that I really liked for SGD29. So, I was wondering if it’s cheaper here or in Uptown. Let me know??

Sometimes, it’s good that I am not rich. Coz I think then, I’d buy expensive gifts for people…ALL THE TIME! I saw so many things that I know my friends would like but of course it ain’t cheap. So friends, if you want gifts that you’d really like (for Christmas), pray for cheaper ways of getting them and pray that I’d have enough savings…haha…

Oh….I’ve gotten the Don Moen’s CD entitled “Hiding Place”….Nice!! haha…

Ok la…I think I should go and sleep now le. Tired.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Festival of Praise 2006

I came back about 50 minutes ago from Festival of Praise 2006, this time featuring Don Moen and CCC. Those who were at my grandma’s wake would know how much I love Don Moen and how much his songs really played a part in my life. But, if you weren’t there, now you know.

Maybe about 2 years ago, me and David were at a shop and we saw Don Moen’s CD and he was planning to have a concert. I’m not a big fan of concerts (esp those standing ones) and also no money to pay for the concert, I didn’t go for the concert. So, hearing that Don Moen will feature in Festival of Praise 2006 was like a MUST GO for me!! I’m glad I went.

Oh my…first thing, Don Moen is such a good looking old man la!!! He’s clean cut, charming, and just splendid. Mind my physical-critical mind.

He played the piano and the violin. Wooooo….so nice!!! I don’t know whether to attribute it to Don Moen or to the committee of FOP for the fact that Don Moen played on a Steinway Grand Piano!!! Woah!!! FOP 2005 didn’t have a grand piano (it featured Hillsongs and Delirious?). So, when I walked into the Singapore Indoor Stadium and sat down and saw the grand piano, I Ooooo-ed. “That’s a Grand Piano!!” So, of course my very curious mind wondered what Piano it is. So when the camera went near enough to point out that it’s truly the world’s best grand piano maker “branded” piano, I was smiling from ear to ear. And for a slight moment, I wanted to get my hands on it! Haha…

CCC (Christian Church Band) was way too loud for me. That added to me being extra delighted when Don Moen took over the worship leading. Of course, Don Moen has been worship leading for so many years hence knowing the ropes of it better! He’s an awesome worship leader la…

Don Moen and his team were wonderful. The supporting vocalist had superb voice! Oh my. I was thinking, “Man, if she were competing in American Idol, she’d have won!” And the rest of the team of musician were awesome but of course, I noticed the drummer more than the rest. Haha….

All in all, worth the queuing up for ONE hour under blazing hot sun!!! Oh my. It was so hot that Dr. Caleb Ho came up to us and told us to go down where they all are because they are under the shade there. When the rest arrived, they too ask us to go down to where they were. But Fun and Hui Yue didn’t want to. Probably thinking, we’ve been queuing up for so long already la. Haha…I don’t know. But I’m glad we didn’t give up our space because we got really good seats!!!!! Although in the beginning we weren’t too sure whether we’d get to sit together, but in the end we did. I asked the usher whether is it okay to book seats for friends. He said okay. So, we spread ourselves out…booking about 30 seats. Really thank God for the seats…haha….

So, if you ask me if I had a good time there at FOP, I’d say I struggled to worship in the beginning when CCC was leading but had an awesome time worshipping God when Don Moen took over. The sermon was strange for me. But to be honest too, I was kinda sleepy. Haha…..so, I didn’t give my full attention. Eeks.

Oh praise God for MUSIC man!!! Music plays such a big part in me life…..Thank God for music!!!

Upon recommendation from Chris and Shelbs, I'm going to watch Lake House tmr. I hope it's good.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Lord, help!!!

I slept less than 5 hours because of stupid module registration – or rather, bidding for modules – This whole system of bidding for modules is stupid. All NUS students first lesson is how to be a stoke broker. But I guess, every system has it’s good and bad la. I was a little agitated last night about the whole bidding thing and seeing the amount of bids people were putting in. Pray hard and harder…..now, I’m just going to leave it in God’s hands! I’m going to try at other rounds…but what I’d do is that I’d come up with contingency plans. I’ve now gotten a few more different modules that I may also want to take. So, it’s not too bad. I’m just trusting God in this la. Let Him lead and guide me to the right modules to take for the semester. I shall not decide all this based on my own little and limited knowledge.

My hp died on me yesterday and it won’t get better. I’ve been praying. Please pray alongside me.

Stephanie is leaving today and then I’d miss her a lot esp when the rest of the team will still be around. Ya. But, she’s gotta go and do what she needs to do. I decided yesterday to go to the guys’ apartment, where the girls were gathering too, just to meet them and spend some time with them. I haven’t spent much time with them this week. So, we had a pretty good time there.

For me, putting on a smile isn’t very hard. It’s probably one of the easier things for me to do – it comes quite naturally. Yesterday was a test of that….Being in charge at the booth during the matriculation of the Engineering students was very challenging plus my mind and heart was elsewhere. So, it was honestly very difficult for me to stand and smile. But, God really was very good to me. He was there to really help me stand and smile and be really cheerful at the heart….I’d be honest, sometimes being cheerful isn’t what I want. Sometimes, I’d rather sulk. Haha….But oh well, God, have your way in me!

:)

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Ah Lord God, You are AWESOME

Today I did something not very wise – something that I told myself I should change. I have a great tendency to pack my day back-to-back with things to do or people to meet. And I did that just today! I met Felicia at 1pm, then met Wei Ting at 3pm, then planned to meet Beverly at 5:30pm. So, its very hard to find time to squeeze anything in between. Then today, a girl called me and said she needed my help. So, I had to meet her in between meeting Wei Ting and meeting Beverly. Sigh. Next time, I must remember to leave some space in between things and not pack everything so crazy!

Oh gosh. I just recall something!! I double booked myself for tmr!! Oh gosh. Sigh…..Now, I’ve gotta go and un-double book myself….and then, Steph is leaving soon. I want to spend some time with her oso. She’s so funny la. I’d miss her. I’d miss everyone from the Summer Mission team la….

U know, today as I was just spending time with the three sisters, my mind is brought back again and again to how God loves me so much. And how good God is to me. God is too good.

Let me just tell you a little story.

On Tuesday, I was getting a little worried over my registration for modules. I have 4 pre-allocated modules and 1 more module to bid for. Still, I got so tensed. I imagines having mini Jee Lees around (like in Ally Mcbeal) and the mini me would be jumping around in my room frantically trying to pull her hair out too…So heart unrest…because somehow or rather, things weren’t falling into place. Then, I started chatting with Liren. As I was talking to him, I felt my heart even more not at rest. And then I felt God saying, “Jee Lee, be still!!” Then I thought “Yeah, good idea.” Haha…So, I turn up the volume of my laptop which was playing Christian music and worshipped God, not think about the modules, and just being in God’s presence and allowing Him to calm me down…

So after feeling less kan cheong about the whole thing, I was online and I saw Adeline online!! So, after discussing, I finally found a module I am interested in taking. A module I never knew existed and a module that taught the very thing I was very interested in!!! So, yes!! God provides!!! And he taught me, it’s not about my work, it’s about Him providing!!!

So cool rite??

God’s waaay too good la…He’s just awesome!

You know, the past few days, I’ve been reading Exodus and I’ve been enjoying every single bit of it. Sometimes when we read the new testament, there’s so much instructions that sometimes it’s so focussed on us. But in Exodus, there’s so much rawness in portraying God’s characteristic….and I think that is awesome!! Really!!! God is great….

I love you Lord…..
Love very very much!!!!

oh, announcement!! Jee Leng has gotten her driving lisence edi!!! She can drive! Woah. Time flies man...my sister can now drive. Will she drive me around now? Oh but wait, now i'd have someone to compete with in getting the car! HAh! but priority to me - birthright Jee Leng!! Birthright!!! hahahaha......I am evil....muahaha....

(Jee Lee gone crazy!)

My Hosea...

Suddenly my mind is brought back to Hosea. And the joy of knowing that God pursues each one of us fills me to the brim! Each women want to be pursued and to know God as a lover as someone who’d pursue you and want to call you HIS is so sweet. But more than sweet, you know that you do not deserve this at all. You just want to give your whole life to HIM.

Lord, have Your way in me.