I can't study!!!

The reason why i am blogging now is because i can't study! I tried to study 2 hours earlier but my vain effort caused me to decide to go and sleep. hehe

You see, after the whole week of sleeping at 2am daily and getting up at 7am, i am getting a little tired. I don't feel so tired that i need to sleep until 10am today but i guess, i just like to sleep-in once every week and that significant day is always Saturday! My phone alarm rang at 6:45 this morning even though i didn't even set the alarm last nite! Strange!!!

Technically, I woke up at 10am. But I only got out of bed at 11am. Walked out of the room to see Bev typing her work. I went to disturb her. Talk talk talk.

You know sometimes people don't like to be forced to do something that they don't want to do but after much persuasion, they might eventually do it. I am very stubborn! When I am forced to do something that I don't want to do, I will force that person to STOP forcing me anymore! So, the force-r will eventually stop forcing me to do the thing that I don't want to do. Beverly was persuading me to do something. I told her that I really really don't want to do it. So, don't force me. She kept on persuading me to see her point of view and do it. I kept on saying no. I still remember one occassion of my earthly father forcing me to do something very vividly. I was very determined to not do it. In the end, I cried and say "Pa, I really really rreeeaaaallly don't want to do it" and he didn't force me to do it eventually. Of course, for those who know me and my father, you know i'm not a person who cries easily and you also know my father is someone who will persue what he thinks should be done. I told Bev, the fact that my dadgave in to me was because he probably saw the hurt in me so, please don't force me to do something that i don't want to do. I will think about what you have said, but don't force me to do it now. I'm not proud of my stubborness but it has not been so bad already. I can be stubborn with many things but I try my very very best not to be stubborn when my heavenly Father tells me to do something of course!!!

Anyway, exam periods make me think more. The thing that i've been thinking about is my close friends back home in KL. I wish it is holidays now. Then, I'll be home and be driving around meeting my friends for their lunch breaks and doing nonsensical things with other holiday-ing friends as well. Going to pasar malam. Having many meals a day. Breakfast, brunch, lunch, tea, dinner, supper (maybe 2 rounds)...No wonder i get fatter each time when I go back home! Haha...PLUS there's no reason to walk and take public transport in KL when you have the car! I can't decide when i'll be going back home this time round of holidays. My last paper is on the 30th. I've got a camp to attend on 5th-9th Dec (in Singapore). Then, there's a mid-year exco review on the 12th and 13th and then there's a Christmas Party on the 16th Dec. I can't decide where to go to and when. The first thing to decide is whether to go home after my paper on the 30th or not. I want to but Jeremy is asking me to help him think of games for camp. I've realised recently that i'm pretty good at games planning. Of course I acknowledge that this is by no means my own ability. Its a gift from God. Not as good as others of course but a gift nevertheless! :) Oh yes, I'm suppose to also help the Youth Fellowship from church back in KL to plan games for their camp too. (Su, all thanks to u ar!!!) But I don't mind helping la. Small matter!! haha....Still can't decide when to go back home to KL. With the not-so-happy things going on, I want to go back home to KL sooner. But, I have to consider whether does God really want me to go back home so soon or does HE want me to settle things in Singapore first. It's definitely more comfy for me to go back home and then i'll be running away from discomfort to comfort!! But, is that what God wants me to do???

Anyway, this was suppose to be a considerably short post. Looks like i've failed! Bleah....