Bicara Hidup

One of the lines of that song goes "Hidup ini banyak persoalan". How true how true...

Ya apa ya bapa
Ku seru nama Mu
Yang Maha Kudus
kuatkan hatiku
teguhkan iman ku
tempoh dosa dunia
ya apa ya bapa
peganglah tangan ku
tentulah jalan ku

Still speaking to God about directions for next academic year. Things getting clearer for me. Praise God. :)

Beginning of this year, God put upon me a burden to reach out to my grandmother, who is a muslim, and the burden grew stronger and stronger. I spoke to Angel, one of the Navigators Singapore staff. But since then, I've left it because of fear. I don't know how to approach this and coming from an Islamic country, fear is natural - esp with the experiences I've had and the natural fearful atmosphere amongst Christians in their outreach work and the very cautious tone in making sure that nothing "uncalledfor" happens - like being brought to the police-station.

You see, I've been trying to reach out to some of my project groupmates. There's a malay girl in my group. Of course in my outreach, I would easily have left her out.

One day, as I was talking to Ade, she told me she saw her reading a magazine tat was distributed in school - in was the DVC thing. At that moment when Ade mentioned her name, something was stirred in me. There is a chance. Why are you letting her go? Sigh. It's too difficult Lord. I cannot do this.
Now, me and Ade are meeting up on a weekly basis to pray for them. All the more I feel I really shouldn't let her go. I must try. Maybe there's a reason why God is sending Ade to partner me in this.

On Thursday, she didn't come for lecture. So did my other project group mate. I took notes for them, as usual. Then Adrian encourage me to msg them to show that I care. hmm....Okay, maybe I should. But, I was a little reluctant. I can't explain why but I was. Shame on me! So anyways, I msged them and I tot the chinese girl would be more encouraging in her reply but instead I got a very very encouraging msg from her. I can't exactly explain why it's encouraging but maybe because I didn't expect such a warm reply. :) At that moment, again I felt something probing me "Go and do it...Don't be afraid."

With all these things happening, at the back of my head I'm asking God, "Do You want me to go back to Malaysia and serve there?"

And then, again on Saturday, Edgar asks me whether I want to give tuition to Malay kids. I didn't ask much. The minute I heard Malay kids, I jumped at that and said "YES". Haha. Stupid me!! I've yet to get more information from Edgar.

I changed my msn nick to "Ku seru namaMu, yang Maha Kudus". My secondary school buddy asks me what's with me and malay. haha....I told him "I love my country, what's wrong with loving the language?" Woah. I said that!!! haha....

Burden is still there. Something needs to be done.