*hmmm????*

Somehow, it’s difficult to try to understand why I am feeling the way I do now.

The test was horrendous. It was so super difficult. Sigh. Science test summore cannot simply bluff your way through. A very funny thing happened tho. Before class, I was feeling quite sucky because of him. I was trying to psycho myself to calm down and not panic. When I reached Science with Karen, I saw my group mates. Waaah, all so tensed. So, I told them to not panic. What’s the point of panicking rite? (Yeah, I was still trying to psycho myself). Anyway, someone from the group asked “Eh, you guys got read the past year questions ar? (everyone nodded except me) So, what’s the answer for the most vitamin deficiency in Singapore ar?” (everyone donno how to answer). I BOLDLY (and I must add, stupidly) said, “What kind of question is that? So stupid. Aiyah, anyway, they asked before edi, sure won’t ask again wan la”. YEAH rite!!

Towards the end of the test, I turned the page to the next and looked at the last question. I almost laughed out LOUD. It was the exact question that was asked earlier by my group members. I almost killed myself. I knew my group members are gonna kill me after tat. So, I told myself 'I better get out of the lecture theather before they do'. Unfortunately, I was still waiting that God will help me recall some stuff. So, I sat until the end. True enuff, Hsien Xiong called out “Jeee Leeee!!!!!” Arrrgggh….I knew I was going to get it. Sigh…..haha….

No point talking about the paper already. It’s over.

I’ve just read an email from a dear sister asking me to pray for her. You know, I’m so encouraged by the mail that she sent, because I know the step she’s taking now is not easy. I can imagine. Yet in the same breath, I am sad too.

Today, I struggled a bit with my feelings for him. I don’t know. Nothing bad really happened but when I meet him and talk to him. Then, my heart starts to play tricks on me. I wonder what will happen to me once he is not within my radar anymore, once he leaves my surrounding. Maybe without a sight of him, my feelings for him will die down OR, it will be torturous for me. So, we’ll see.

A few days ago when I looked at him again, close-up, I told myself and God, “He’s so beautiful!!!” Sigh. I’ve got a very high taste for beauty. A man can be good looking but not many can be beautiful – inside & out. He is!

For a man as beautiful as he is, who is Jee Lee to even dare to think she is considerable?