A randomness of things

I was pissed almost the whole day. Why? Sigh. I was being a baby.

I slept only at 4 plus, close to 5 in the morning and I woke up at 9am. Was dead tired but once woken up, I couldn’t sleep anymore. So, I had a brilliant idea of visiting Yueen San for her lunch time. Why? Firstly, it’s been a long time since me and Weng Yan did something like that for her. Two, I just wanted to see my friend. Three, it would get the two pigs – mainly Joshua and Weng Yan out of their house and stop rotting at home. Actually, three pigs ( including me). Then, came disappointment.

WengYan couldn’t make it because her grandfather fixed an appointment with her earlier than me! Argh!

Joshua? This one better still – no news at all! So, awake at 9am from only about 4 hours of sleep, I was waiting for that stupid reply. After waiting until about 11am and no news from him, I knew that the plan is gone case. And I was pissed.

And I couldn’t explain exactly why I was angry even after they (Shelby, Joshua and Samuel) were willing to come and pick me up for lunch – which I diva-ishly refused. So, I stayed angry until God started bringing laughter to the incidents of the day.

I cooled down and then msg Joshua. We then made arrangements to go to San’s office for lunch the next day.

First year in Singapore – you’d hate it.
Second year in Singapore – you’d praise Singapore and complain about Malaysia
Third year in Singapore – you won’t want to come back to Malaysia anymore.

I’ve been there for 2 years already. And I did get a little afraid that I’d be in the “Praise Singapore and complain about Malaysia” category. Because honestly, if you want to talk about efficiency and a more forward-looking spirit, (and maybe cleanliness – though that doesn’t really matter to me. Because Singapore has its dirty places too!) , Singapore score higher.

But, I guess, home is still home. Nothing beats that. Some of my friends know how much I love my country – despite its weaknesses.

Especially when there’s a calling to come home, especially when God didn’t allow me to drop some of His work that I was already doing before I left for Singapore, especially when now there’s a burden for the outreach to Ishmeal’s decendents.

I have been asking God where would I be for the next few years of my life – Singapore or Malaysia. Although there was (and still is) a great desire for India, I have a feeling that’s a no-no, at least not yet. And the result is that I’ve been feeling it’d be Malaysia. So yay!

Being human, I admit that there’s still love for money. You know why? Because I have dreams that I need money to fulfil - like getting a grand piano and like driving a Mitsubishi Lancer. So, if I do work in Singapore, I’d get to fulfil my dream faster. Like it or not, currency is double!

And so, I keep telling myself : Ministry more important than money. Ministry is more important than grand piano. Ministry is more important than driving a Mitsubishi Lancer or best, a Jaguar!

I’m still praying la. Where to go and stay on.

Malaysia is still home no matter what. Even though sometimes when I’m back, I feel people treat me like a visitor more than a person coming home. Which saddens me. That’s why I need God all the more. Sometimes, home tests my need for God more than being away.

Then again, got such thing wan meh?