Forgive me Father, for I have sinned

Many times I feel like rebelling and I just want to do things my way, live my own life the way I want to and make everything revolve around me! The past few days, I find it difficult to say “Okay God, have your way in me” with all my heart. Most of the time, it’s more like “God, Can I have my way please?” But isn’t it amazing that God never lets me go?!

Probably no one noticed this. But, yesterday, for very selfish reasons, I relocated my blog telling myself to be a tortoise and hide! Then, today as I left the house, I felt an inclination to put a book into my bag. I did. I didn’t have much time in school to read it. I only manage to read ONE page. But from the page I read, God was so clear in telling me, go and relocate your blog back again to where it originally was! God showed me that I reacted negatively to the things He allowed to happen. So, the first thing I did when I came home was to relocate it back to where it was originally! And how do I not wonder in awe at how gracious God is?!

And yes, in my rebellion, I want to say NO to many things that God wants me to say YES to. But, God never lets me go. Well, technically, I can still say NO. But, God prompts so hard that I somehow cannot find the guts nor the heart to say NO to God. There are things that I want so much that it’s so extraordinarily easy to say NO to God. But, I can’t! I can’t! I’m compelled to obey.

And it’s not about me. It’s about God. It’s about HIS love. It’s about HIS grace. It’s about HIS faithfulness. It’s all about HIM. Because I know me and I know I cannot do all this without a supernatural power – without an extraordinary God.

My Lord and God, will you forgive me please? And please, do not ever ever leave me to struggle alone.